Boy, she really does not want to look at herself which is why she won't work on the M - she really blames you and think the only problem in the M is your stuff.
I know I am only hearing your side, but what I read sounds much like I was and I was an angry person who felt everyone in my life left me to be responsible one. I resented that role and yet I kept taking whatever responsibility I could instead of walking away from the stuff that wasn't mine.
Knowing her as you do, is there anyway to reach her, so that she can see and hear herself?
And BTW, let her know that therapists often are people who went through horrible situations and recovered successfully only to want to pass it on to others. If she doesn't like one, she should try another = perhaps a MC with a family systems background. It can help to understand the roles we learn in our family early in life and how we continue them into adult R.
