I am a little late, but welcome to the community here at the DB board. I wanted to respond to your posts and I'll warn you that in the beginning to newcomers, I usually write a long one, so hope you don't mind. I was an almost WAW after many years of M. Like you and your W, we had not had any abuse or anything like that, but we had had a lot of other problems. Both of our children had health problems and that caused a lot of stress for us. However, the biggest problem "I" had in my M was the fact that my H would not communicate with me. I mean the man would not talk! So for years I tried to get him to open up his "soul" to me the way I did him.....but no soap. I had grown up in a very close family (and he did also) but my parents talked about everything to each other and I thought that was what M was suppose to be.
My H and I also had sexual problems. I tried to approach him with our personal problems....it always led back to the fact he didn't think we had enough sex. Of course he blamed me for the lack of sex, so I prayed and prayed that God would help me be the kind of W my H needed. So.....at my "sexual peak", and just as I thought that God was finally answering my prayers and everything would just be grand.......my H suddenly, without one word of explanation.....stopped having sex with me. He never even tried. He had developed a terrible habit of falling asleep while watching TV. He had grown up to be a "night owl" and I would go to bed before him. Whenever he followed me to bed.....I knew the reason...."sex". I had resented that for years and tried to discuss it, but to no avail. Anyway, I could not understand why he suddenly stopped just as I was getting in the mood (so to speak). Then other things came along to add stress and finally I went into a pretty serious depression due to my own health problems and I started playing games on line.......and then, to make a very long story shorter....I met OM on line and an EA developed. You would have to know me to know that I was truly the last person you would have thought to ever do that! You may imagine your Sunday School teacher or grandmother or anybody before me! So, I found out that I was not above falling into a pit that I would never have thought I would have dreamed about, and it was an experience that I do not want to ever have again. I was blessed b/c I got help here on this board, and my H forgave me, and we have come a long, long way. That is why I have tried to "pay it forward" in doing what I can to try to help others.
Whee......I hadn't intended to go into all of that, but wanted you to know a little bit of where I come from. I hope I can help you figure out more about your own W and what is happening to her. I am going to go back to copy and paste some things you have said and make responses. I will start another reply since I took up so much space in this one.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
