See, I think it's a good sign that she didn't identify with Loh, although, she may have until you accused her of it, and then...just the opposite. But my point is, if she didn't identify with Loh, who says "it's too much work to choose to love the man I married" (do you think it was an arranged marriage, and therefore not her free choice?), then it says that your wife's values are at least on the right side of the fence. Ah, but she does enjoy a good mental wrassle, too bad she won't do a physical one in the sack.
