Originally Posted By: tryingtilDorR
I know I don't want a D either, and my first meeting with an attorney reinforced this. However, if she is going down that road and wants to file I would want to try to negotiate with her. However, I think I will let her make the first move on this if she ever does since, after all, she wants out not me.

The OM has a criminal record and she caught me last night trying to do some research on it (email inquiries I made). I am doing it in case I need to file a restraining order to prevent contact with my kids in case she ends up leaving. She was furious. It is just a reminder, however, of how difficult things will get for her if she leaves (especially for OM).

It seems like the only R talk we have these days are over her involvement with OM (which she denies but I know she is lying). As much as I try to avoid the subject it inevitably comes up for some reason.

Have you thought about how long you are willing to go on like this? I find myself getting angrier at the fact that she has an EA more and more over time. At first I was just hurt and devastated, but now it is starting to make me angry due to humiliation and other factors, but I have to keep it in check for the sake of my kids while maintaining some dignity - it is a tough thing to do!

One thing you and I can take heart in (in a twisted way anyway) is that at least we KNOW what our wives are doing to sabotage their M (EA), whereas others are just dealing with the same symptoms but no confirmation of an EA/OM. I was almost 'relieved' when I confirmed it since it explained so many things.


TTDR,

You know, I have my good days and my bad days. Today my W has an extra skip in her step and so I know that she has spoken with OM (suspected no contact lasted about 4 days). I gotta tell you, it just pisses me off to no end how this OM scumbag is outright exploiting and manipulating my emotionally vulnerable W. Not to say there is no accountability on my W's part, because there certainly is. But the outright coaching of my W to break up my family... this guy is a complete scum. And vindictive too- he knows damn well no one in the family will support any future relationship my W has with him- certainly not my kids!

Do I know how long I can hold out? Can't say I've thought too much about it, just taking it day by day. Nor do I really want to right now- we have almost 20 years together plus we've got three beautiful children, a house along with a lot of other things that we have worked hard for all these years.

I guess there is some comfort in knowing that the destruction of our M and family will rest solely at her feet if it comes to that. I really hope it doesn't come to that though because if it does, when she hits rock bottom it's going to be excruciatingly painful for her- very, very bad. My W has a tremendous amount to lose.... while OM has NOTHING to lose.

I told her early on "Mark my words, if you see this R with(OM)to conclusion, you will come to hate (OM) for the rest of your life." And that is the truth. I'd bet my house on it. I sure hope I don't have the future opportunity to tell my W "I told you so."


M: 41
W: 39
S: 11
S: 10
D: 4
1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09
EA began: 2/14/09
EA discovered: 3/1/09
I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself
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