May I suggest you no longer say "The thing(S) I can't get past is..." b/c you CAN get past it if you choose to.
And what choice do you have really? It all boils down to how you want to spend the rest of your life and what attitude you'll adopt as your own. If you are truly unable to be happy on your own, get help to learn how. That's basic life skills...
And if you really DO know how but don't want to do the work (which you need to do either way NO matter what happens in your sitch--do you see that? Even if by some miracle she came back, YOU would have to do work on YOU...do you get that?? )
I mean there is NO easy way out of this but through it. Learning to detach and make oneself happy....you gotta do that.
Stop blaming her or venting about how she won't try, and stop worrying about her or whether she is a good mom or a good person or whatever....just GET PAST HER....and back to working on you....
Don't take the focus off your kids' well being, and improving yourself as a father and man. That's plenty to deal with. Don't borrow misery by taking responsibility for HER....take responsibility for YOUR LIFE b/c no one else is taking responsibility for your life....(Tyra Banks said that, and it's a good thing to recall).
The rest will happen and the cards will fall as they do. Stop forgetting about God as well. The whole faith thing you repeat out loud, and forget....hold onto it. How's the reading going? The job? The c? The meetings??? THE hard work comes when you DO what they talk about...that's what is hard, not just attending the meetings.
You have to work the program for the program to work.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
