On being the best O'Dog I can be

[AlexEN]

OD,

Quite aside from the inaccurate mindreading and projecting that was present in Smiley's The Note and my The Letter, this The Memo(?) is hypocritical and self-contradictory. She strikes me as very controlling; has that always been the case?

...I think we need to make sure that they (esp youngest) are not led on into believing this is a temporary situation. And I suppose, to the extent that your agenda is that this is short term, I should clarify where I am at.

I don't see an immediate reconciliation. Working towards reconcililation is not something I am thinking about right now... I haven't pushed the divorce issue because and I was trying to give us both time to settle in and adjust. I also wanted to see if either of us thought OMG this is horrible...what have we done? I wanted to see how the kids were doing. I wanted to see if I regreted the decision and felt like I just had to have you back as a husband. So far, I don't feel like I've made a horrible mistake.

Reconciliation is not something you can put a timeline on.

As far as Youngest's question, I heard you early in this tell him that we were "trying this for a while" which I know is how you have viewed it. Since then I know he has view it as temporary. I have not viewed it as temporary. ... We have had zero discussion about you moving back in, and its not fair to him to even suggest its a possibility.

...I don't want to sit down with the kids again and say "we're getting divorced" ... its too traumatic. But as questions are answered, I don't want you to feed the idea that its temporary. ...

...In my opinion, once we get the Chatper 13 decided (the course of action for modification), then I think we should get started on the divorce stuff so that there is some clarity.

...I don't want to be misleading and we need to be on the same page as far as what the kids are hearing.

There's a lot of double-speak in there.

I read it as: I don't want to tell them the truth, but OD, you shouldn't lie to them about what I want.

Uggh...

Sorry you have to deal with this...

-A