Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

How is it that you wrote up the parenting plan, she had court ordered parenting classes, etc and she got the majority of the custody? That doesn't make a lick of sense!

My sons were traumatized by the thought of having to chose between their parents through mediation and the judge. S11 was constantly "ill" in nurses office with 'stomach pains'. Thus I simply could not put them through that.

Then there is the issue of 'credible witnesses' to attest who the better parent is. Having my former BIL living in the house and a renter to make up for the lost income of XW that she had setup thinking she was going to stay in the house turned out to be nothing but a setup. They became "employees" on her fahter's payroll to create stories of me having lavish parties and went so far as to create a picture of "my" refridgerator full of nothing but alcohol to back a story that "there was never any food in the house". As I've said before, this is complete horse snot as I FEED EVERYONE.

So, it was a painful decision, but one that can be reversed later. In Illinois, like many states, adultry doesn't mean squat in a child custody hearing. "Alcoholism" on the other hand is HUGE. I will not lie, on my own free time after the kids were in bed or away with their mother did I drink? Yes. Excessively at times? Yes, I was going through hell. To the level and degree of the alligations against me? Absolutley not.

So, after some harsh legal threats against OM and XW for their conduct while the kids were in their care, XW straightened up and the problems that concerned me most went away. The schools in that town are some of the highest rated in the state, especially where a special needs child such as S12 is concerned and he has progressed wonderfuly there. So, my attoney wrote up the agreements and hers accepted. And yes, I have a lot of wiggle room to my favor should things start to head south, her attorney just wanted out of the case and really didn't pay much attention to the details.

So should things change, either I move back in the area as I plan to, the boys opt that they don't to live with her anymore, or any one for any reason sees or feels she unfit to raise them, bam, we are right back in court and there will be NO mediation, and NO custody hearing and I walk out that day forever having sole custody.

So, essentially I surrendered in malice.

We both had to attend the class, it is standard practice in any divorce/custody hearing, at least in this county.