CG, the past 13 years probably did mean more to him than you know. But he feels like he failed which and doesn't want to again which is why he won't leave OW come hell or high water. He has some issues to work through that will keep him from enjoying his life until he does.
I'm sure he regrets what he did but his pride or fear of failing in his mind is keeping him from trying to reconcile the past. Thats just my guess. Which like you say is a sign he still hasn't grown.
What I can't get past is my W keeps telling me there has been to much irrepairable damage done even if I have turned things around. I can never get past that line.
What exactly have you turned around? Other than a few months of sobriety, what is different with you? You have to admit, not much that she can see. Heck, I can't see much movement in you at all. I mean, sometimes I think you are being sarcastic...are you being sincere?
I don't say anything though. SINCE WHEN???
It just seems like such a cop out kind of line. She hasn't tried counseling or anything that could help. Half the time I believe that line is just an excuse so she can be with OM because she knows I have no defense against that line.
She hasn't tried c? OMG!! You have not either!! Oh wait, you went once or twice and you were smug and doubtful about it at first. Maybe you still are... You have tried next to nothing to do things differently...what's that phrase again? Oh yeah, 'the kettle calling the pot black'...
I grow so tired of hearing that line when I don't fully believe it because I know there are so many resources available and I have seen others in far worse conditions come back and be strong and work on saving things.
..."....so many resources available" !! OMG!...yes Kevin, the same ones WE told YOU about in late February and early March that you are NOW availing yourself of, sort of....and you know why you'll get "blasted for this' is b/c you are a hypocrite to the extreme. As for The "mystery" and unreasonableness of your w's behavior...look in the mirror and ask yourself why...I mean, YOU have people advising you of what to do and how, and she doesn't. YET you just began doing a few of these things and barely doing them, b/c I'm not sure how much you are really putting into it -- AND you are the one who wants to save the M!! She isn't, yet you expect more of her than of yourself...(is that a pattern??)
I will probably get blasted for this. But its just a frusturating issue to keep hearing.
"just a frustrating issue to keep hearing...." YEAH, WE KNOW....
W told me earlier on that she probably won't be able to trust another man for a long time, all the while sleeping with OM. I guess that is why sometimes I feel like it is just a cop out or excuse so she can be with who she wants.
Kevin
Speaking of cop outs...how are your d's doing today? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
