Alright well not a lot has changed. She was gone most of the weekend and came home a day early. She was suppose to come home tonight and instead just showed up yesterday afternoon. It was pretty quite. Immediately after she got home I left to do some things and she went to go workout. After that there was some small talk kind of friendly and then she went to a different room to watch tv and be on the computer for the rest of the night. And to sleep in a different bed. It would just be a hell of a lot easier if she would just snap out of this and grow up.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
It would just be a hell of a lot easier if she would just snap out of this and grow up.
Don't count on it (although it is known to happen). My W and I are heading for a separation/divorce and she is still doing the hot/cold thing. On Saturday she said she didn't want to do any family things with the two kids and us together because it wasn't real and was all fake. On Sunday my kids and I were going miniature golfing and she asked to join us. So they move from one side to the other continuously. It's your job to be steady and not follow her back and forth.
Focus on you and PMA no matter which mode she is in. If she gets pissy and cold you don't need to do the same - in fact, make sure you DON'T do it. You control how you are going to act. If you allow her to push your buttons with her attitude you will be surrendering your control over to her.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Why does it seem so hard to do the right thing. I know what I need to do and that is give her space, act friendly and act as if this does not bother me. I have been doing a fairly good job at this recently however it is just frickin tough. I want to walk up to her give her a hug and tell her that everything is going to work and our marriage is good and we will make it. I can't do that right now and am really trying hard not to but if you know what is the way to go why is it so hard not to do the right thing?
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Lately it has been quit the rollercoaster. Sometimes she will be friendly and others it is like I don't exist. She has not been around home the last three nights. one day working and the other two at the bar.
We really haven't talked too much about anything the last couple of days. Pretty much I'm going out. I tell her to have fun and a little about the dogs. Yesterday it was just a text that she sent me while I was still at work. Every night when she has come home I have been in bed. Didn't ask anything about here whereabouts or who she was with and she comes in and gets ready for bed in our master bathroom and then talks to the dogs as they are in bedroom. Then she leaves without saying anything to me and heads to her room.
I would like to try to talk to her about small stuff to at least keep conversation going and to lighten the mood. But is this something that I should try to do or let her make contact with me when we are at home? I know it is early on but I really don't want her to feel like she is worse off by being miserable at home.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Well last night W worked to 10 or so. But did not come home until 3:30 in the morning. No idea where she was as she did not tell me the last two nights she went out she at least told me where she was going and was home around 11.
When she did get home she came into our bathroom to get ready for bed. When I saw her leaving the bathroom I just asked her when she worked in the morning. Then I said ok I will leave the dogs outside then so they don't wake you. No response back from her not that I was expecting any.
Not sure if this is how I should have handled it or not. Figured that if or when she gets an apartment I would not know anyhow what time she comes home or what she is doing.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Alright so the wife had to have a R talk yesterday. She said that she is moving into an apartment as I will not move out. Not a big surprise as the past week she has been in a completely pissy mood anytime I am around. Not sure why other than just to get to me or something.
We ended up talking for an hour and she says that she just does not believe that things will change and that everything is just empty promises. Yada Yada. She did say some really hurtful things during that time. "I don't even look at you as a friend more of just a parent than a friend." 0% of what they say.
I told her that it is not choice but if this is what she wanted to do then she should do it. I told her that I trust her that she will not be out with other guys and I told her that I would not be seeing other people. She agreed. I actually am gald that she will be mobing out and the sooner the better. It is just way too tense around our place right now that she needs to get out and get over whatever she is dealing with. The only bad part is that she is going to be gone Thursday thru Monday and probably wont be out for a couple of weeks. So two more weeks of her attitude is not going to be fun.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Db'ing, your story sounds very familiar to mine, other then we have three kids. Your more then welcome to read mine. I'm willing to bet there probably is someone else. It sounds like she is going to the bars a lot, and coming home at 3:30 is not cool, in fact it's disrespectful.
Not sure what your next step should be. I'm sure somone will come along with some good advice.
me 34 W 37 three kids 9 13 17 married 14 years together 15 well the bomb has been dropped a few times most recent was early June
Well it happened sooner than I though it could. I left the house this morning for a few hours to go to church and stopped by work. When I came home she had already rented an apartment and is able to move inon Wednesday. She will be out of town this coming weekend and plans to move in next Wednesday and Thursday. I reall think that she just needs a lot of growing up. She siged a shorter month lease to see how things go. Right now my plan is to help her move in. I will only see her one night this week and then when she is packing. It will be one of the hardest things for me to do to help her move out of our house and maybe never to come back.
But who knows there is still many thing that can happen between now and then. Going dark once she is out of the house will be my first step.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
Ok having a real tough time today coping with the fact that in one week wife will be moving out of our house to an apartment. I really don't understand how she can go from everything being good 4 months ago to wanting a D and now a trial separation. Can't stop thinking that this separation will only be a way out for her.
She did pay extra on the lease so that it is a 6 month lease instead of a year lease. That is an ok sign I guess. We haven't decided to do anything with the house other than we both will continue to pay the mortgage and I will live there with the dogs.
It just makes no sense to me that someone would not want to go to a counselor or anything that is trying to work on the M. Looking at trial separation statistics shows that about 33% of them working out to better the marraige. Well I am hoping and praying that I will be part of the 33%.
I have told her that I will not be dating anyone while we are separated and she agreed to it and that she hadn't even thought of that. Maybe BS who knows but there is really nothing that I can do about it if she does.
We will be in the same house about another 4 or 5 nights before she moves out. Not much time together though. And being the nice guy that I am I will be helping her move into her place when the time comes. Just the bed and the couches anyhow.
It will be our 6th anniversary 4 days after she leaves. Should be a good one.
Right now I am coming up with all sorts of plans on what we need to do to stay connected and to work on things during the time apart. I haven't told her any of these and probably won't because it really doesn't matter right now and this is on her time line.
She is going to her hometown this weekend to tell her folks that she has got a place and that she is moving out. I had to tell my folks already because my brother is getting married and she was suppose to be in it and won't even talk or look at my family right now.
I am pretty sure that she had it in her mind that no matter what this is what she was going to do and go get a place. In the past month she has been a complete bear to deal with and I did not once lose my temper or anything. She just acts pissed off at all times and tries to completely ignore me. While I just go around and pretend everything is ok and try to make small talk. There are even times where she will come talk to me about something as if nothing was wrong and then ten minuutes later she won't even acknowledge my existence.
Well here's to the next few months of doing whatever I want whenever I want and not having a wife to tell me what to I should be doing.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" Matthew 6:33
