The waiting is the hardest part. I'm in a similar boat. I heard from my W about a month ago. She stopped by to drop something by the house ... took her about 2 minutes and she was gone. It's the only time I've heard from her in the last two months. No emails. No texts. No ... nothing. I feel for you. I really do. I have the same fear, namely that my W may never contact me again.
Trying to figure out what they're thinking is going to make it worse FOR YOU. Honestly, you have no idea what is going on in their heads. My guess is that they don't either ... but that is only a guess.
The bottom line is that you can't control anything regarding what they do or don't do. The frustrating part is not that you necessarily want to control his behavior, but you've come to expect certain behavior from him ... contact is one of those things that you expect.
I've been trying to figure out the whole GAL thing too. Like you I work like a crazy person, but have been trying to do stuff just for me no matter how seemingly small. Sometimes it is just doing things I know are good for me, even if I'm not feeling it. Start small.
I hardly get any responses and I don't know why! Do I just give up on the marriage???
Lost, I'll be honest, I kind of shy away from posters who post on multiple threads, and who use either ALL CAPS or multiple exclamation points on all their sentences!!!
It makes me feel like I'm being shouted at. That's not a criticism -- just an observation.
Hey Lost, I've read your whole sitch, have a couple questions: Is there a D in process? What was this hearing that he missed, counseling for your daughter?
Looking forward to your answers.
Jon
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
He filed for a no-fault at the end of Jan. but I haven't heard anything since then as far as the divorce.
The hearing was because he was in contempt for not seeing her on his allotted time, missing her counseling appointments. He didn't miss it, he was there but then left. He never came into the hearing room. His step-mother did and his attorney but that was it. That is when his attorney told the judge that he was dropping his visitation rights and was also not going to attend her counseling appointments.
His attorney also said that he had left the building. I didn't even see him.
Puppy, sorry for so many threads, I couldn't figure out how to use the site. And as far as exclamation points I'm not shouting, just desperate for some help.
Jon, someone that my H worked with years ago just called my cell, looking for my H. Our landline is turned off because I couldn't afford it and never realized that our home phone is giving out my cell number this long of time. I had it shut off over 2 months ago.
The man that called said he wanted to let H know that their old supervisor had passed away, and he wanted to let him know. I told him I have no way of contacting him or letting him know a phone number except the parent's number and to call them and they would give him the message or give him his new number.
At first I didn't think much of it, but then he started to talk to me and told me where he is living and that he is going through a divorce also and here he is living right down the road from H's parents. Then at the end of the conversation he tells me to call if I need to vent. A little weird, I think. What do you think? Am I reading too much into this????
Is your W depressed also? And you've got it right, I don't want to control at all but I thought I would hear from him regarding bills that are in both of our names, or he would at least want to call his daughter or step-son that he raised for the past 13yrs.
Lost, Were your daughter's counseling appointments part of the divorce? I'm also confused why visitation is being talked about when you're not divorced yet.
You know he filed in January, but don't know anything more? Do you have your own lawyer and are just handling it that way? Hang in there!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Jon, when he filed for D he filed for visitation rights (which he didn't need to do, I would have let him see her). When we had the hearing to set the dates up to who would have her when she was in counseling and the court said it needed to be continued by all 3 of us. This way it would be a co-parenting counseling also due to the fact he filed for divorce.
When you separate in our state, you can file for visitation rights by the court. So I'm assuming his lawyer told him to file for the D and visitation all at the same time.
We are not divorced, and my lawyer said he hasn't heard a word about it. My lawyer knows that I don't want the divorce.
What do you think about the phone call I got yesterday also? Am I hoping for too much to think my H put this guy up to it? I don't ever remember him mentioning this guy before, plus we had our number changed since my H worked at the place with him.
Or am I just getting my hopes up that my H asked him to call?
My daughter got the okay to send H his Fathers Day card from the lawyer and counselor so she did. I just hope and pray that he doesn't return to sender on it and break her heart! I'm usually at work when the mail comes and both of my children are at home. God Bless her she wrote in big letters on the envelope on the back I LOVE YOU DADDY!
So I guess I will see what happens then. He should get it today or tomorrow. I also got a call from the bank stating he still is not paying the truck payment which they settled for $50 per month and now they want me to pay it. My name is on it but I had no clue like I said in the beginning of being on this site that he had turned it back into the bank. It only sold for 2000.00 and he owed 7,000.00.
So now I have to go to the lawyer because I've been paying all of the rest of loans etc. all by myself, and now this. Plus they want to freeze my checking since it is the same bank.
I don't know if this is Dbusting but I can't afford any of this. He makes twice as much as I do and all he pays is rent. Hope I don't mess anything up by going to lawer but I don't know what else to do. Plus he is refusing to pay 60% of our daughter's braces, I can't pay the whole thing. I had to pick up an extra day at my second job so I can pay my part monthly on them.
We have a hearing on Aug. 3rd. He probably got the papers yesterday along with our D's Fathers Day card. I'm a mess that I messed things up by going along with the hearing for more support for our daughter to pay for her braces.
Does anyone have any advice? Still haven't heard from in, it has been 2 months today. I do know where he lives but don't have a phone number or anything. Should I be more concerned that he isn't making any kind of contact or is this normal now that he has been on his own for the past 2 months for the first time in his life.
Is this the depression doing this to him? And advice or input would be greatly appreciated.
What do I do to even get a baby step when there is no contact now for 2 months? I know GAL and stuff but how will he see I've made changes for the better and that I'm here for him if I don't hear from him at all.
