They are so wrapped up in their own hopelessness that they don't know how, and they're not really motivated to try. All they know is that they WANT to feel good again, and will do ANYTHING to get that back. Anything, that is, except reconnect with the spouse, who they seem to look on as the reason for all their unhappiness.
Equally frustrating is seeing the energy and enthusiasm that they have for just about any other option. They're very motivated to try to fix things, just not with us.
