Ok, I am going to play devil's advocate. May be really off base, but its what I see.

Your W saying she doesn't want this D, but still is moving forward with it is sort of a cushion. Its much easier to say that than to say "I want a D". It makes her feel less guilty. If she truly was wavering and not wanting a D, she would be doing something about it.

People have come back to healthy M's with way more baggage than yours. There was no infidelity, secrets, or abuse.

Sorry but wanted you to see a different perspective.

Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!