You are loved and adored! You keep telling me that happiness is right around the corner. It will be for you too!
Remember our text conversation the other night when I was freaking out again...we have two mindfu^^s on our hands. That is not easy.
Have a great weekend. Text me soon!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hi Honey. I can't believe that little one has had a birthday and I missed it! Kiss her a happy belated for me.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
i know you are respectful. YOU will be the one who turns out to have a great future. YOU are setting the course for how your life will be. I know it's hard now, but it will get easier down the road. just don't lean on him for your self worth and don't expect anything from him.
your going to have a great things happen in your life.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Thanks for the birthday wishes...and, of course, all the support. Haven't had any contact other than a brief text last thursday..I'm actually loving it. It's nice not to be plagued by his angry demeanor or sexual advances. Although, I would like it if he would tell his butt to stop calling me. He has this awful habit of NOT locking his cell phone, so every now and then I get a call and it's just people in the background. This happened Friday night. I heard his ringtone...chose not to answer it...but, it went to voicemail. When I listened to it...all I could hear was some woman telling a stupid story and she was cracking herself up, but no one else was laughing...I was good though...instead of listening to the whole accidental message..I hung up. I spent the rest of the weekend with my daughter...hanging by the pool, playing in the sand, giggling, watching movies, chasing her around. It was a nice relaxing weekend. Now, I have to prepare not to have her for two days starting Friday night. He wants to do every other weekend. So, we'll see how that goes. I just pray he cares for her properly.
She is feeling better. No fever, no cough, no congestion. Happy.
I love her.
Another good note....my family is going to Ireland next year. I am so excited. We have been talking about getting the entire family together and renting a castle. Well, it's gonna happen it looks like. H is going to be sooooo pissed off. He wanted to go soooo bad. Oh well, Kendall and I will have fun.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Ireland sounds great! Let him sit home with OW. His head will definately play mind games for sure.
I hope K does good this weekend.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Well, it's done. I mailed H the final D paperwork and I am going to the courthouse to file the last bit. My D should be final in about 10 days. I don't feel horrible. I think I'm ready to ditch the anchor. But, I still hate the word....Divorce. I hate that I am. I hate that he did this and so quickly without any fight.
My detaching has gotten better now that he only sees our daughter every other week. I don't hear from him for two weeks at a time. And, I don't contact him...for anything...unless it was an emergency or something. I am not contacting him to make sure he is picking her up on Friday or when he will. He can come to me. I have made more than enough accomodations.
There are sooo many things that will always hurt me about this sitch. The way he acted and treated me...especially when I was pregnant and right after I gave birth. I hate him for leaving me to take care of it all...myself...the baby...everything with NO help from him. And, then to watch him be there for OW and her baby and see how much he is involved in his sons life....
I am finding it very hard to forgive those things.
Part of me want to write him a letter telling him exactly how I feel. But, the other part of me knows it wouldn't make a difference to him. So, maybe I'll write the letter to get it out of my system....and then burn it.
Last edited by blindsided1; 07/01/0902:28 PM.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
My IC is big on writing what she calls a Hate Letter to anyone in your life who you have issues with. Then burning it to help release those feelings and move on.
"My detaching has gotten better now that he only sees our daughter every other week. I don't hear from him for two weeks at a time. And, I don't contact him...for anything...unless it was an emergency or something. I am not contacting him to make sure he is picking her up on Friday or when he will. He can come to me. I have made more than enough accomodations."
Even if you can't see it.. this is a good change for you. You have had periods where you have resembled this comment but this one seems heartfelt. Maybe we are onto something here. Like I used to say.. Time will tell.
"There are sooo many things that will always hurt me about this sitch. The way he acted and treated me...especially when I was pregnant and right after I gave birth. I hate him for leaving me to take care of it all...myself...the baby...everything with NO help from him. And, then to watch him be there for OW and her baby and see how much he is involved in his sons life...."
Again be careful of what you "see". I understand the hurt/pain that you have. Just in knowing that I can say that it will "color" what you "see". Just because he is involved now.. does not mean he always will be.
"I am finding it very hard to forgive those things."
The time will come. Trust me. I know that does not make it better now.
"Part of me want to write him a letter telling him exactly how I feel. But, the other part of me knows it wouldn't make a difference to him. So, maybe I'll write the letter to get it out of my system....and then burn it."
What would you possibly tell him.. that he does not already know? You have written many "letters" to him just by posting here. Has it helped? The times in which you have done the "best" as judged by me sitting at my computer.. is when you were not focusing on all the bad stuff. Like for example when you were "dating". Even if what you were doing was "wrong" something about it was "right". Take that thought and hone in on what will be healthy things for you to do that allow you to "grow".
"Well, it's done. I mailed H the final D paperwork and I am going to the courthouse to file the last bit. My D should be final in about 10 days. I don't feel horrible."
If I remember correctly.. you used to tell me that you could never do this. Things change.. don't they. At the very least.. it is the first choice you have made for you and yours. You are protecting what you have. By not feeling horrible you imply that you are at the very least "accepting". Again.. for you "babysteps". Look at the road you have had to walk to get here. Is there really much that is going to trip you up anymore?
Keep your head up.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
