K4D Rising #2

[K4D]

It was just a thought that was quickly dismissed. I had just wondered about it after someone else saying that they would have done it from the start had ther realized the impact it had.

But again, it was quickly dismissed as I figured something like that would backfire on me.

I am actually making progress. I am taking stands on things now. I didn't before. I'd say that is pretty good.

Kevin

[K4D]

I heard the average stat for a man to remarry is 2 years and the average for a woman to remarry is 7 years.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

and that means what to you? There are women who'll say it means marriage is a built in unfair institution with bias against women, and that women have a lot more to lose by remarrying, whereas some men will argue that women are just too picky or hard to please...Whatever.

How are the girls and the GAL going? The AA? The c?

j-

[K4D]

It actually doesn't mean anything to me. I just thought it was interesting was all. I have no idea why the difference.

My girls are doing good. We got up this morning and spent about 30 minutes goofing around and chasing each other and laughing and playing before we had to get ready to go.

C and AA are fine. I'm going to the codependents anonymous tonite. I'm very interested in seeing how that works. Other than that just trying to focus on my job. GAL, working on it. And I continue to pray.

Kevin

[davidswife]

Are you going to AA on a daily basis?

[K4D]

DW,

The group that I went to meets twice a week for AA. They meet again tonite. But I am wanting to go to the codependents anonymous meeting tonite. So AA will be later in the week when they meet again. I am aware that there are meetings with other groups every day. But I also have my daughters this week and want to spend time with them. I don't have them tonite. But I have them the rest of the week.

Kevin

[Done in VA]

I have heard the difference is that XW usually has the kids much more than XH. XH has more time to date & focus on personal life.

[Orich]

k4d, what is codependents anonymous? It sounds like something I might be able to use...

[CityGirl]

Stats are just stats and most of the time if you look hard enough you can find any "info" to back up the stat you have.

Since its an interesting question though I will throw in my 2 cents. I think men find it harder to be alone and often feel like they need a R to be happy after a divorce. I think women tend to want to heal and be more protective of their heart until they know they are fully ready to be open to somebody new.

Y'day my H and I had a long and emotional talk and I was STUNNED that he opened up to me in tears that he has been thinking long and hard about his GF for a very long time and wondering if he is in the R just so he could have a R, feel like he is in a "normal R", have his needs met and rely on somebody else to heal because he couldnt do it on his own. Will he break up with her? I doubt it but for him to say that was telling. He also said he thinks it might be a mistake and he is unsure (but didnt say what he was unsure about).

I did ask him (and this was not good DB'ing but who cares, our court is tomorrow) if he is in such a solid and stable R with this person why hasnt she supported him at all in trying to make things right with me (not being so ugly) and he said he did not know and he guesses she does not love him unconditionally. But like he says he cant fail again in a R so he will stay with her forever. He also told me he was scared and sobbed about so many things.

I had a horrible dream last night that H and I were living in the house I grew up in but my H was really my Dad and we were late for court. (FWIW, my dad is deceased). It was very disturbing.

I am so stressed right now I feel ill. Sorry to hijack.

[K4D]

Orich,

Here is the link. You can click on it and read about it.

The website is www.codependents.org

Kevin