Wow, that was a massive group hug! Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes. Apart from the next bit I have had a wonderful few days.
I do understand what you are all saying about my Mum thank you all for helping me to see her perspective. I do understand that she would be protective; I just wish sometimes she would understand. I could certainly have reacted better, it is just that she said some things that cut right to the core of me and because it was her saying it amplified it for me x20. Ali, what you said to your Dad was just so perfect, I will try that one next time and perhaps things will go better.
I have had a lot to mull over the past few days. It would be good for me to talk about it here as I don't think I could in real life as I am not sure what to do.
The second part of the mother argument story was that the next day I was feeling kind of sheepish because I was dreading my Dad. I thought he would tell me off for upsetting my Mum, as would happen when I was young, and he can be quite volatile and I am very sensitive so I am always a little wary.
But he came and saw me when Mum had gone out and said that he knew Mum and I had been having words last night and for me not to worry. He said that in the past few years she had undergone a personality change and had turned into a very aggressive person. He said he had just gone quiet and not said anything for an easy life. He then proceeded to give me some quite upsetting examples of my Mum's 'aggression' and some quite horrible 'observations' he had made. I didn't know what to say. I was crying a little and Dad assumed that it was because of my Mum but it was actually because of him. He shouldn't be telling me that stuff as it is not appropriate and between him and my Mum. He said it all with such contempt.
I have known things haven't been very good for a while, empty nest syndrome and all that and there is a distinct loss of respect on both sides. My Mum has GAL and my Dad has to some extent to. I have known for a while that my Dad has been telling these stories to my eldest sister and brother who have lapped it up and are both on his side because they don't look at the other side. I guess I have been staying out of it all because of all my own stuff going on but I don't really know what to do.
Should I try talking to either my Mum or Dad? I feel like I am better equipped than my eldest sister and brother because of DB etc although obviously I wouldn't mention that. I am kind of scared to because I don't like confrontation and they are my parents! But I know that if they split and I hadn't tried I would find that hard to live with.
I could whine on for a while especially about my best friend who said something that also cut to my very core last night. I was telling her about the house and how I was going on a date but wasn't looking for anything serious. She said 'yep, been there, done that, got the divorce!’ I was just so shocked; she knows what a huge deal this is and how hard I have tried. I know she said it because in actual fact she is jealous, she admitted it later that I had a date and had moved away from home. She has neither of those things but her situation is very different to mine. She makes some kind of comment like that every time we meet and I just don't know how to answer her or stop her. I would never say anything like that to her.
Sigh, on the whole though, putting those things aside I have had a lovely few days. I just want some people around me who don't load their issues onto me. No wonder I don't talk to RL people about me and H!
Sorry for the long post, I guess I have a lot on my mind and don't know how to deal with it. Any input or advice is much appreciated. Where has my quiet, peaceful life gone??
Oh, a plus in the DBing stakes. I had one of T's 'puke for joy moments' I love that!! When I got the birthday card from h and it was signed 'Hope you have a wonderful day Love H'. A small thing but a big achievement considering six months ago we weren't even barely speaking.
Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes. Apart from the next bit I have had a wonderful few days.
I love that!! When I got the birthday card from h and it was signed 'Hope you have a wonderful day Love H'. A small thing but a big achievement considering six months ago we weren't even barely speaking.