maybe its the ongoing string of rainy weather here in NE...or maybe justthe sitch getting to me. Denfinetly woke up today with..not the panic, not the anger, not the forlorn feeling...but, a sadness.
@smiley person's recent experience with The Note reminding of an all too similar note received by me on the double helix day of move out/separation and, what would have been our 5th anniversary.
I woke up pondering those written words "...if someone had told me 5 years ago that we would be where we are today I never would have believed them. We have been such a part of each others' lives for many years, so many good times. I truly want whats best for both of us, and hope you are well". At the time the note was received I had not begun DBing. I was in major re-act mode. I was livid about this note, and told H. so. Told him he acted like this was just something that happened to us, that his actions and choices were what was making this happen...was furious and ranted in a very unattractive way.
While we have had many conversations and interactions since the separation, the note, and all the rest, I still find myself haunted by those words. Did he clearly let go completely a long time ago? So hard not to play the mind reading game.
Anyway, got lots on the to do list today. But not really feeling it. Impending holiday, combined with my b-day, was always a special event with that particualr person and despite my best acceptance of what is right now...I just would like it to be over with.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
