I would focus the emphasis of the talk on the situation involving the kids. That is a serious issue.
You sound comfortable with the kids interaction with 'Ed'. I hope that is something I can someday accomplish, in a way I'm getting there, but obviously have underlying issues with my XW's "fiance".
Irony tho, why is it, it is ok that the WAS can run off and marry their new 'sweeheart' and the kids are ok, and yet the LBS has to be very selective and cautious in what they do after the D cloud settles?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11