Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

One thing my DBcoach said, after I found out about possible OW last summer, is the statement: My H's business was his business & mine was mine. Don't know if it applies to your sitch or will help. But it does show detachment.

I'd love to embrace that logic. Unfortunately, one year ago tonight, actually morning tomorrow I was a trainwreck and so were my kids as I was frantically trying to locate my XW after her not coming home again. That time is when I knew there had to be an affair going on as the person she claimed to always be with when she didn't come (the catalyst friend ) fessed up and said she hadn't seen or heard from XW either.

Whe I was finally able to get hold of XW, she proclaimed to be at said friends house. I didn't let on that I knew she wasn't. So, just before XW got home, something told me to go see which direction XW's car was coming from, and of course when the moment came, the entirely wrong direction of her friends house. It was at that moment I knew for sure something was rotten in Denmark.

So, as soon as Xw got to the porch I asked, "let's get this right the first time, where were you?" She replied adimently she was at her friends. "B/S" was my only reply and she saw it my face as I turned around went in side and let the kids know it was "ok, mom is home safe".

After getting the kids off to school, I retreated to the deck and XW came out as if I did something wrong all night and started to badger me. Puhlease, not acceptable, and then the truth came out when I asked again, where the F were you last night.

The hard and yet simple answer?

"I was f'n my boyfriend all night!"

If I could have my way, those words will be engraved on her tombstone deeper than they are in my head.

So I wish it were so easy to say, "it's her business". Her business however permanently effected the lives of not only myself, but her own children who I had relax, un-nerve and essentially lie to when their mother was MIA 3/4 of the time for well over a year and half, and 9 nights and mornings in the couple of months leading up to this grim truth.

I will be fine and deal with it in my own little way.