My decree nisi came today. I am now in the last six weeks of a fifteen year marriage, all since my WAW asked for a divorce in December.
It's now getting nasty due to the financial package and L's getting involved is making what is left of our R in ruins. She hates me and says she has no respect for me, and I have to do the right thing for the children.
I want to do this but I have to have an adequate package to be able to re-start my life and make a comfortable home for my children.
Does anybody have an experience or instances where the WAW who hates her ex-husband ever reconcile?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
Yes, mine. We're still struggling with long-term SSM issues, but the "hate" that she so vocally expressed to me during her affair soon dissipated, and she said, in fact, that she RESPECTED the strong stand I took in fighting for her and for our marriage.
My stbx is still so angry, and when I asked her yesterday why is this so, seeing you are getting the divorce you want, she said she was angry the marriage had broken down because she did not love me anymore. I take this with a pinch of salt as I believe it is because she is not getting it all her own way now as she was when I was appeasing her her all the time.
If she really felt this way about the marriage she could easily slow things down and really think about her decision before the decree absolute comes through.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I have not posted for quite a while because I have been trying to get to grips with things as they are.
My decree nisi came through 3 weeks ago, but the financial and child custody issues are proving very difficult. My stbxw is using the children against me which is very hurtful to me. She continues to argue in front of the children but I walk away when this happens. I asked her if I could attend my son's sports day bur she said 'no' as he did not want my W and I to argue. My S7 is really having a hard time, he is very clingy and he has become very introverted and I am extremely worried. My daughter (10) seems to be dealing with it better but he has got surpressed anger which comes out by attacking her brother.
I asked my W if I could attend my daughter's sports day yesterday seeing as she had attended my son's, but again she asked my D and she said she wanted my W there and not me. I feel very isolated and peripheral now and I am very sad knowing that my W is using the children to get to me.
I have still not managed to get a job even though I have been doing some voluntary work for physically and mentally disabled children, but when I told my W what I was doing she said I should be looking for a proper job.
She is very angry but I know this is because things are not going as quickly as she thought it would. My L has said this could go on for another 3 to 4 months which will not please her. My children keep asking me when they can come back home as I am in the marital home and my W and children live at my PIL's house while they are on a 3 month holiday.
I feel sad I cannot tell them but if I leave I will lose any control during this difficult financial and custody period. I am still very down, my W is going out more and more looking for another partner which is hard to hear, while I cannot even think of this even after 7 months.
I hope things do resolve themselves but I miss my children so much.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
My divorce is now reaching a difficult situation as the financial split will cause get concern.
My W has offered a very derisory sum, whereas I need a better settlement to be able to re-start my life and make a comfortable life for my children.
This is very difficult as my L has advised I enforce a sale on the property which would allow both of us to get a property that suits both our needs. My children love leaving here, but I also have to think about my future.
I feel very confused.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
