It's MY life now!!!........

[25yearsmlc]

Hi, SC,
I just read 25's looong post from a few days ago, and although I don't know much about legal stuff, I agree with everything she said that I understood.

What can I say? I was tired (and I wasn't billing for my time or words)...But SC, you MUST read Detachment...the site faithfulH referred K4dallas to read and it does help. Please do it asap. It is crucial for you to understand AND implement it.

You seriously need to learn detachment, girl. Do yourself a big favor and study up on it big time.

AMEN!!

Don't contact him if you don't have to for business or kid welfare, and DO NOT talk to him about feelings or R, past, present, or future, at this time. Zip the lips!! A phrase comes to mind here, and please don't take this the wrong way...

"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"

YES...this is it....PERIOD...SC, I wish we had said this to you a long time ago or maybe we did, and you were not ready to hear it. But will you ever be able to hear it?
When you say you "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" --

Sorry-- I don't see that. I see you manipulating and planning and obsessing even while "going dark", and hoping and hoping and FEARING the worst....and getting paralyzed by it so much that it sends you spinning back into the "I have to have him Or I'll go nuts wondering what happened even though I sort of Do know, but I'm SO afraid of the truth OR that I'll be too alone and FEAR FEAR FEAR comes oozing out of you, as does NEED NEED NEED, to talk R talk, and talk some more and then interpret and wonder "WHY??"....

Well, I knew a little girl at "kid cancer camp" who was 10 y/o and had terminal cancer. Though she felt, "okay" that summer, she knew things were not looking good for her much longer. She admitted in one talk that she wondered aloud to God quite a bit...but she changed: "I used to ask God, 'why?' Why me? Why? Why? WHY?...but then I thought, 'I just AM...so now I try to have fun while I can..."

and though she got her last wishes filled and passed away in the fall, I never forgot her words of wisdom. She was sick, for no "reason"...and so she stopped wondering, and asking, and seeking "closure". Instead, she used her remaining time for FUN and with a quality of life unusual for her years.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. If I have learned anything these past 2 years with so many deaths in our family, it's that. Life is short and you only know your time on earth is limited but you don't get to know exactly HOW limited....just that it is...so use it wisely and well.
Wondering about closure is not going to give it to you. Only time will. Your H cannot give you closure on this, seriously. There is NOTHING he can say that will give you what you seek, realistically. Stop defining what R you wll have someday and let something develop on its' own. Good luck SC, really.
(( j ))


Start focusing on YOUR life, not his.

Peace,
Dawn