We have been seeing a MC together at this time. I would think that the MC would seperate us if he though that we needed that. I have seen my H do the changes for a little while and then he is back to his old ways again. I have been told that if it took you a year to get to a certain bad point it will more than likely take you a year to get to a certain good point again. I will admit that I do the same things. I know that I do not fight fair when we do get into arguement. I have been really trying to fight fair by not bringing up the past, saying bad things that I know are 'button pushers', and threatening to just push the divorce papers through. I also lapse back into these bad behaviors. I have found out that he has been to porn sites since we got back together and I put my foot down stating that I will not tolerate these types of behaviors. I explained that it hurt me, that I felt as if I had to compete against these woman for his desires and that was something that I would not do. I dont' think that he understands the way that I feel and I am not sure if he ever will. One thing that the C has said is that we DO NOT trust each other and until we do then we are hiking through two feet of snow going uphill in a blizzard. I agree. But how do you let go of the past and just say okay I am going to trust you from here on out. (Until you mess up again??) I feel like I am going in circles some days. I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not yet and I wish there was a way that you could see into the future. If I take this road, then this is what will happen but if I take this road then this is what will happen. Then it would be so much easier to decide what to do.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
