Wow, I was here last night and missed all the excitement.
Sorry about your d's change of plans. You know my s dropped out this year, in his senior year, and it broke my heart. I don't understand the problem but I have to let him figure things out for himself. It sort of runs on both sides of the family to not do things the normal way.
About the other stuff! What were you thinking?!
You knew his mother will never feel the way you do - she made different choices from you. Just be glad -yes glad- that you are not her!
Sounds like she justifies her choices even if she knows they are wrong and if you try to point it out - it gives her a soap box to preach from.
I will tell you that my separation would have been one year earlier and saved me and the kids a lot of turmoil and chaos if I had not talked to the church. I wasn't so tied to it, but we had been attending off and on - things had gotten so bad that I had started to file for D- the day before signing papers to put them through I asked for a counseling session. I was told it was wrong to D, though the minister admitted to feeling bad for saying this given what I was going through with H's drinking.
I don't know if H would have gotten sober sooner or not, but I know that I would have minus one year's worth of bad memories.
Like it or not, you did what you needed to do, now you have to stay away from him and the chaotic life he drags around with him. You made a good decision, honor it by moving forward now.
Or, do I have go through all that mushy stuff again with you to remind you how strong and wonderful you are.
