I'm against it. It's not honest, and at this point, you should be taking the high road and being impeccably honest in contrast with her deceit. I have no problem with "being mysterious," and not answering all her questions, and if that leads her to believe that there are others that have their eyes on you, then so be it. But I wouldn't recommend that you lie about it.
Puppy
thank you for the quick reply puppy..
it's not that i was going to ever say "hey i have a gf" but more along the lines i'm going out to "dinner and a movie with a friend" type thing. i wouldn't even say it's a woman. if she asked who, i'd just say that's not important.
I would NEVER say i'm seeing someone. because that isn't true. i agree with you there
I would be okay with that. Even having flowers sent to yourself, or leaving a phone # out on the counter for her to see -- any of that stuff. Just not lying.
I would be okay with that. Even having flowers sent to yourself, or leaving a phone # out on the counter for her to see -- any of that stuff. Just not lying.
k. one side note, she doesn't live here and hasn't for over 3 weeks. she's not coming back anytime soon if ever. although she did say she will be back in town july 7th. i think i'm going to be real "busy" that day lol, and not even contact her. i know it will be one FULL MONTH before her next scheduled meeting back here in town. she would have no other reason to come back during the monthly meetings for her work.
W texted me at 1:30 am today asking me if i found the remote control to her Tv. lol no reply from me!
this is getting easier now because i know why i'm going dark. i cut off that "itch" i always had to want to be her friend through this and now i realize i was only hurting myself and my chances of reconciliation with her doing so. i don't really feel lost anymore, not anything like i did a few days ago.
but anyways, i'm going out with some friends again to the beach today. i went yesterday with them and had an ok time. there's more of us going today so i'm looking forward to it. also just deposited a fair amount into my checking from a couple stocks i just sold. i can now get some of my own personal finances in order quicker as it was always a long term thing for me when i was with W.
i'm focusing on me 100% right now. i also have a few websites that i run online and need to get back to work on them. i was making a couple hundred a month off of and have completely slacked on updates since this sitch arose. tonite needs to be dedicated to updates and working on the new site i started before W left.
and again! lol, wife called at noon today while i was on the phone with a friend, didn't answer. then texted me immediately, "Hey call me back please". Ummm not today sweetie, i'm pretty busy and am developing a severe case of situational amnesia.
if this is all for a tv switcher, i think she can fork up $10 and go buy a nice universal remote for herself. i'm not wasting my time looking around the house for her old one.
thank you puppy. i'm going to wait longer then an hour. prolly around 5 hours cuz i am getting ready to leave for the beach right now and i'm leaving my phone at home.
but i will totally use the line you suggested. i'm not trying to be an ass. just would like a WHOLE LOT LESS contact with her from now on.
puppy, the thing you posted earlier about when to text or call back, does this really fall under any of those categories? I am a bit confused on this one. a tv switcher that's 5 hours away when she probably has a wal-mart 9 blocks from her new place? i don't see that as being my problem...
i'm going to wait longer then an hour. prolly around 5 hours cuz i am getting ready to leave for the beach right now and i'm leaving my phone at home.
You are doing WONDERFUL...
Perfect response to her is.. Just got your message. Was out and left my phone home. Your remote isn't here. (make sure to look for her remote BEFORE you give her your response.)(there is a reason for this)
That's it... Nothing more. Vague. Sounds like you are busy. she should be asking herself why you didn't have your phone with you or if you are lying.
NOW she will have to think of another EXCUSE to contact you if this one was an excuse. ( IF you would have texted her that you will look for it BEFORE looking for it then she would have been able to use that excuse to contact you again,to see if you had found it, which would still leave a doubt whether she really wants the remote or whether it is an excuse to call you to see what if you are still there for her to fall back on. This way you will know that you have her wondering the right things...
i'm going to wait longer then an hour. prolly around 5 hours cuz i am getting ready to leave for the beach right now and i'm leaving my phone at home.
You are doing WONDERFUL...
Perfect response to her is.. Just got your message. Was out and left my phone home. Your remote isn't here. (make sure to look for her remote BEFORE you give her your response.)(there is a reason for this)
That's it... Nothing more. Vague. Sounds like you are busy. she should be asking herself why you didn't have your phone with you or if you are lying.
NOW she will have to think of another EXCUSE to contact you if this one was an excuse. ( IF you would have texted her that you will look for it BEFORE looking for it then she would have been able to use that excuse to contact you again,to see if you had found it, which would still leave a doubt whether she really wants the remote or whether it is an excuse to call you to see what if you are still there for her to fall back on. This way you will know that you have her wondering the right things...
GET IT?
Good job . You are on the right path.
gucci,
i wasnt' home to take your advice BUT...
i texted 4.5 hours later saying, "sorry i was out with friends all day. i haven't seen your remote." i instantly shut off both my cell phones as soon as i hit send....
i turned them on a half hour later to find a text message from her saying... "What's with your phones. you trying to get rid of me. I found one of your debut cards."
i didn't reply and turned my phones back off. turned them on at 2:00am today, and got a message at 2:15 from her saying, "Please talk to me tomorrow."
lol, i have no intentions of talking to her tomorrwo. i'm going to the lake with friends again and am shutting my phones off when i leave. then i work tomorrow nite at 7pm. will wait to see what she has to say tomorrow.
i talked to a couple that are my friends tonite, and they broke up at one point, and the guy in the R didn't answer the phone for 5 days lettin his Fiancee call and text him non stop after they had broke up at one point. after the 5th day he answered and said what do you want? that was enough for her to come home. i know that's not gonna help me in my situation, but it gave me confidence in what i'm doing. My friend's W said that she went nuts those four days she didn't know where he was or where he was staying. she said it definately helped her in deciding what she wanted.
Thank you gucci, your advice to others maybe what saves my R. i'm not ignoring her, or being an @sshole, but i'm stopping being her friend through this.
Went out tonite with a guy friend and actually met one of the coolest dudes i've ever come across. he's 44 yo'd but was as real as i am, straight up, no bs. we talked for like 4 hours, and really bonded. i needed this. i didn't need attention from another woman, but to connect with another human bein about life.... i had a great time tonite, honestly the best one i can remember in awhile.
i don't care what W texts or calls about tomorrow.... i'm too busy... not in an @sshole type way, just too busy to be able to carry on a conversation... i'm actually starting to enjoy this single thing. and this is the FIRST time she's said anything like, "Please talk to me tomorrow."
lol, just as soon as Hell freezes over sweetie, i'll get right on that.