From now on, watch those texts. The rule-of-thumb is that if it's about the kids, reply immediately, if it's about HH logistics, take a few hours, and if it's fight-picking about the R, don't reply at all.
Since you said you don't have kids, this should be fairly simple. Not easy, but SIMPLE.
From now on, watch those texts. The rule-of-thumb is that if it's about the kids, reply immediately, if it's about HH logistics, take a few hours, and if it's fight-picking about the R, don't reply at all.
Since you said you don't have kids, this should be fairly simple. Not easy, but SIMPLE.
Puppy
puppy what is HH? haven't seen that one before. House hunting? i'm lost.
thank you for this outline. do dogs count as kids? lol
i can do the no contact, fight picking. and honestly she never really gets riled up until i ruffle her feathers a little, which isn't going to happen EVER AGAIN (at least not like i have been doing with the "i'm done" crap)
she actually just texted me and said "thank you for today" lol. i replied back thank you also and for bringing hurley(dog) here. she said no prob and then texted to take care of her baby. i said i will and she's welcome to call when she has free time. she said she will.
Ok. Let's fine tune how it works to turn this around...
I will redo the text conversation in the way you SHOULD have handled it....
Quote:
she actually just texted me and said "thank you for today"
You: No answer tonight.. No answer tomorrow..... Matter of fact.. NO answer at all....
You have to wait UNTIL SHE texts again...
You changed your underwear too soon...
Have you always been this easy of a catch with women?
MAKE HER CHASE YOU... You can only do that by not answering trexts and being busy busy busy....
When she asks you why you didn't text her back or if you got it... Tell her.. OH yea.. I "forgot"......
Get with the plan... Being Mr. Nice guy does NOT work when they leave you for another man... It makes them FEEL that you are weak.. Women are ATTRACTED to STRONG men..
Be that man...
Next time go out.. Leave your phone at home and take pride that you don't have it for a crutch... AND when you get home take pride in that you will NOT run into the house as fast as you can to see if she contacted you.....
Hey Gucci, I'm still wondering if you think the same rules apply when the man leaves...
What do you think men respond to? Just curious.
I KNOW what men respond to. It isn't what do "I think" men respond to....
Just curious?
You must not be observing why most all of the men came to this site. You haven't seen a common reason WHY almost all the BS men are on this site and what they say happened?
Let me give you the standard newcomer man...
"I have been reading this site for a couple of days and want to tell you my story. My wife says ILYBINILWY to me. I now realize that I haven't been a good husband and have ignored her. I don't think there is another man involved because she says there isn't. I have been sending her flowers and spending time with the kids. I now wash the dishes and clean the house while she goes out with her girlfriends or goes to see her parents. I have ordered DB'ing and am open to suggestions on what to do to win her back. I know that I have failed as a husband and she told me that she had been telling me for years, but I was just a DAM. Should I ask her out on a date. Should I tell her I love her? Should I leave her alone? I am totally committed to my marriage and want what is best for my kids. Doen'st she see what she is doing to them?"
AND ON AND ON AND ON......
The wife has led him to believe that she DOES NOT want him anymore....Have you not noticed that it makes the man WANT her more after years and years of taking her for granted? You don't see that reality on here with men over and over and over?
So, what works with me is right before your very eyes...
LET him go... Jealousy.. Making him jealous (you keep fighting me on that one, but it is a FACT))
Do you see the men on here giving up when there is another man in the picture? I don't. I see the men trying HARDER. I see the men doing things that they haven't EVER done.. Rubbing her feet, givng her backrubs, not asking who she is out with. Watching the kids for her while she is having an affair right beneathe his nose.. What does he do? DENIES that she is having one to himself and then asks up to buy into it with him and tell him to be "patient" and don't rock the boat... IT is ridiculous.
AND the biggest sign.. That stuff is NOT working for the men on this site. How many reconcilitations are YOU seeing? IF it isn't working.. STOP doing it...
What works for women? Getting tough. :PUSHIHG the divorce. HE then will slow it down. NOT SHARING HIM and letting him KNOW you won't share....
Letting him find out you are seeing (dating)(OH NO I SAID A BADS WORD AGAIN.... DATING...)
Jealousy has worked since the beginning of time. I didn't invent it. I am just ADMITTING that it works better than sittin around "standing" for your marriage. It's your choice ,but from my studies in this field for 20 years or so.. IF I were you .. I would take my chances on the things I have told you.. Why? Because I have found them to work FAR better....
Don't you think that if I love my wife that I wold be jealous if she started to show intereste in another man? OF COURSE I WOULD.
NOW IF I had another woman and I knew that my wife would be there waiting, would I chance it? Maybe I would if when I tested her she failed the test.. Maybe I would justify to myself that it is all her fault. Knowing my wife.. She would do anything to let me know that she loves me. She probably would wonder what she did wrong and try to correct it...
The problem though is that "she should be telling herself that she is "perfectly fine the way she is" and that she will NOT SHARE and IF I choose to leave, that she will be hurt, but she WILL let me go...
NOW.. IF.. IF.. IF she follower through on that promise (and if she had a man like me helping her with the crisis)would I NOT start to wonder if I had made a mistake?
YES... What if I tested her and then found out she didn't call me back because her mother had told me she went out on a date?
HOW COULD I POINT A FINGER AT HER?
I couldn't.. not only that, but I man then KNOW HOW IT FEELS...
Then when I test her she stays srong.. Suddenly the shoe starts being on the other foot... (see PearlH for examples of how I helped her to get back with her BF)
WE used all the tricks in the book with her...
The proof is in the pudding.. They ARE back together Right?
OK.. That is MY OPINION of what works the BEST on men...
Cool. Thanks. I'm going to read and reread. I have committed to two days of not posting about any H drama so I don't want to get into it now...but, I have seen what you're saying. Problem is the mindf*ck when he is responsive and then I don't know what to do with him...
I hope you don't mind if I track you down once my two days are up. In the mean time if you want to check out my thread I'd appreciate it.
no contact today from W. after reading the posts on my thread here, i am not going to reply to or answer her calls for a few days. probably won't hear from her anyways so no biggie there.
i am seriously considering making up an imaginary gf. i know one person's thoughts on this already (gucci) and i know i got a huge reaction out of her 2 weeks ago when she thought i was out on a date. i believe at this point i have nothing to lose by doing so. telling her i miss her and that i care and am here for her sure hasn't been working. im starting to think i have to be 100% out of her life for her to make any decisions. i can't be her "friend" anymore. i believe i'm prepared to do that now.
any thoughts about this? i'm prepared for all responses...
I'm against it. It's not honest, and at this point, you should be taking the high road and being impeccably honest in contrast with her deceit. I have no problem with "being mysterious," and not answering all her questions, and if that leads her to believe that there are others that have their eyes on you, then so be it. But I wouldn't recommend that you lie about it.
