W's attorney didn't object to a single question. W basically was handed a long spool of rope and proceeded to hang herself for the entire deposition.
She made lots of the abuse allegations but couldn't even narrow it down to a specific year when pressed for a timeframe.
Some of them (rape) ended up being "Oh one time I don't remember when but I said I didn't want to have sex and he made me anyway."
The "drowning" thing came up and she said "Yeah I was in the bathtub and my head was under the water and he came in and yelled that the phone was ringing." Basically as I stated in my affidavit...
So... she admitted to her A... started in December 2008 (prior to our separation) according to her testimony today. She stated she has had sex with him between 5 and 10 times. Said she did in the marital home as well.
She did the whole "I wanted to get out of the M before I even got pregnant" spiel under oath as well... which has to speak to stability.
She lied (provably so) about all of the questions regarding her mental state. She doesn't know I have her entire journal... and she doesn't know that she contradicted her own words (badly) with her testimony today.
To finish us off... "No we'll depose H some other time."
Her attorney told me "pleasure as always."
W has basically given me the evidence I needed to prove my fault grounds... and right now just waiting on the psychological evaluation to be actually done.
What a puff of hot air yesterday was...
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I don't know what to actually say except that I am inpressed that you really had your game plan together. I know you have said that and I know that you have to keep that up to get through this and get custody but I am sad that it all had to come about this way.
May the rest of your journey be smoother sailing.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
D1 was doing well this morning. She had a toy bottle she kept sucking on, and then she pretended like she was going to hand toys to other children and when they'd reach for them she'd snatch them away and laugh at them. She played for a bit, I held her a little while, and then I left. I saw/heard W but she didn't speak to me.
I'm still trying to figure out what happened yesterday... her attorney just shook her head and smiled while we picked her apart using the questions I had given my attorney. 90% of the questions he asked during deposition were from the list I had given him. He didn't ask any of the 'pointed' or 'gotcha' questions because W was freely hanging herself.
Each time she made some wild allegation about me her attorney quickly looked towards me for a response. I acted disinterested and sat there taking notes. It is almost like W figures a divorce is about trashing the other spouse and who has the most trash talk. Maybe her attorney told her the deposition was where she could trash me all she wanted and say whatever she liked? Didn't matter if it made sense or not... she sounded like a vindictive fogged out spouse who had no idea about how her behavior has affected others.
When asked if she had any regrets about her marriage she said "I regret drinking." My attorney said "What about your affair?" She said "Oh yeah I guess that too..."
Even after admitting she had sex with OM in December, in February when I busted her with the P.I. she stated "I was only going there to hang out and I knew I was being followed and I don't know what the big deal was." My attorney said "Didn't you have sex with him in December?" She said "Yeah..." like she is trying to piece it together rationally.
Her attorney will be filing for a continuance. Up to the judge whether or not he grants it.
Trial: 12:00:17:15
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
She's so wacked out she doesn't get it. Remember that they feel superior so I guess she figures she's not going to get in trouble no matter what she says or does.
D1 was doing okay this morning. She had her hair done up like Shrek which was cute. She seemed a bit whiny, wanting to cuddle with a blanket while I held her. She just leaned against me and sighed. She dropped the blanket at one point and another child picked it up and she started throwing a fit. I picked it up for her and she was fine again.
W was sitting in a chair down the hallway, but she didn't acknowledge me.
I feel somewhat sad today... that "caretaker" part of me wants to reach out to W and plead with her to stop throwing her life away... and after everything she has wanted to throw out against me it would be ridiculous to even entertain the possibility of our marriage surviving. Why do I even let those thoughts through my head after all of this has transpired?
I go back to my priority list...
1. D1 2. W getting help or not 3. My M
It would be foolish to consider any sort of relationship now. I've gotten the general "fogged" responses where she "never" loved me, didn't like me since she first met me, etc. BPD or not, I'm sure things will settle in her mind at some point and she will miss what we had.
Why do I even care though?
Trial: 10:23:18:30
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
