Separated for 3 weeks now

[LitlHopeAlwys]

I have not talked to her in over a week and also never asked her about the EA. I am just leaving her alone so she have time to herself. I hope this EA relationship will not go on forever but marriage counseling will not happen until I make some changes. Is it time to give up?

You continue to forget to give us the needed details too.

Why is that? You want some easy answers? There are NONE. Do the work it takes to save your marriage or lose it.

But don't give us half ass answers and hope we can magically solve your problems. Read the books for starters. Good grief, do you want this marriage or not? Why can't you answer our questions?

What are you actually willing to do to save it? Change anything?

Guess what? That is mandatory.

I have to agree with 25ymlc here.
If you are not willing to put in the effort and time to change yourself, what do you think that your W would want the same past marriage back again. First thing you have to do is realize that if you want to save your M, that you are going to have to start changing. You have no control over your W, how she feels or what she wants, what you do have control over is yourself. If she sees enough change that she likes in you, then maybe counseling. Not for nothing, but maybe it is time to listen to what she is saying.
If you think its time to give up then it seems like you may not want to put in the work and requirements to save your M.