I do think that letting him get close in an intimate way makes it harder for you to detach emotionally. A similar thing happened with me in that W and I would have some long kisses and embraces when she was leaving (after visiting with kids) to return to OM. She was on the fence and it did me no good in detaching. I should have let her know that as long as she was still living with him there was to be no attempt at reconcilling our M.
