Prematurely called divorce busted, worse now

[cat04]

O,

I was here on your first go round and even then I wanted to say things to you that you were not ready to hear. I had a feeling that your reconcilliation was premature but I am still very sad to see that I was right.

I have always felt that the things you had done to GAL and 180's were not for you. They were to show her you could be different. That was mistake number one. You MUST do them for YOU. They know when we don't. Yes, we may find that we actually like what we are doing after the fact, but they can still smell it. So it is time for you to do something that you want to for YOU regardless of her. Regardless of how it impacts her, whether she will like it or not, as long as it doesn't hurt your children.

Second, you MUST detatch. Not wondering what she will think or how it will affect her. Until you do, she will just be more convicted that you are holding onto her and that will make her running continue.

Ok she is having an EA maybe PA. You know what the Bible says about forgivness. Seven times seventy. You say you are religious and I do not doubt it but you are doing what I see so many "religious" people doing and talking the talk but not walking the walk. Personally, I see this as a test of your real faith. Are you willing to die to God and really put it all in His hands? Or just when things are good? He will show you the answers, He will show you the steps, He will show you how He wants you to be, but you have to be willing to let Him mold you as he sees. You have to learn to love unconditionally. He will show you if you let him. I do not know what plans He has for your life or your marriage, but I do see that you are being tried again, (your first wife cheated), so that tells me that you didn't see what He was trying to show you the first time around. Believe me when I say this. Some of us are slow learners. I have been tried more times than I care to share, 4 times in my marriage alone and I am just now starting to get it and I have just finally been willing to die to God.

Nothing gets fixed overnight. Patience and time are such big keys here. I do agree that there are underlying themes for your wife that SHE needs to deal with but since you can't control her, you can only work on yourself. Good luck.