I'm writing this so I can remember what I was thinking ...
I think that "blame" or "responsibility" is not 50/50 but 100/100 (which is statistically impossible, I know). It is a "chicken and egg problem" -- which is the real root: my distancing and unwillingness to truly be intimate or H's lack of initiation? Probably neither on its own. But I have the ability to change my end of the story, my contribution. Will changing my behavior change everything? No, but it will change something! I am working on being more affectionate on a daily casual basis -- like touching H's arm or giving him a kiss at a red light while we're in the car. And I really trying not to be critical of him (even in non-sexual situations).
