he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

thanks, im trying. trying to keep busy, schedule things, pack the house, find where to live and perhaps even a part time job.

im doing all of that, but im also not letting go of h. i decided its not that i dont know how, its that i DONT WANT TO.

maybe at some point, i will. maybe being busy, getting out, moving forward with new things in life will change it.

i know when i talk to my therapist today she is not going to be pleased.

but truthfully, no one can tell me what to do, no one can shut my feelings off for me.

was i wrong to be intimate with h yesterday? maybe. who knows.

im trying with baby steps to detach. its a slow process, but im succeeding in certain areas of it.

im adjusting to not talking to him in the morning, im adjusting to not texting him. maybe its all an adjustment.