And where in those 6 children does your W come just out of interest?
GH, do you think it likely that, given your track record and your W's recent track record over the last year, she is going to leave you? I think it more likely she just wants to make your life hell.....plus her hormones are accentuationg it all. As you know, pregnant women have a tendency to feel unattractive and some do get to crave attention because of that. NOT that that's an excuse in any way for your W's behviour.
I wouldn't expect her libido to be great after the baby is born and for a long time to come. I think you will pay a high price for this child........but I bet they are worth it.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Why are you still there? Why are you still even in the vicinity of this woman? Why are you intercepting her phone calls and texts. You should have washed your hands of her before she even got back. Know why she's even in Australia now? Because back then you had a backbone and walked away. When are you going to say, "I'm done!" and mean it? She isn't going to choose you when you come off as a wimp. Who is she chasing? It's the guy that kicked her to the curb and has a new girlfriend...not the guy that kisses her butt. Get out. Get your own life. Forget about her for the next month. Put off her calls, texts, and e-mails. At least go dark gray on her. The first step is to get the heck out of that house. Pack right now and get gone. That's my only advice. There isn't any that involves staying there and continuing to look like the cuckolded husband.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I cannot believe what a total fool I have been. Phoenixdeux & Saffie you are both right. The old GH31 would never have put up with this, W has exacted revenge for the hurt I put her through for years but this is no way to have a marriage - such a marriage cannot exist if one spouse needs to be on the run perpetually in order for the other to chase..
Like I said the only thing keeping me there is this unborn baby. I am emotionally done with her now. I am not making any bids for her attention or affection etc and I am not wishing she was in bed with me. I don't make any attempt to contact her during the day and she doesn't try to contact me. The thought of having sex with her makes me want to throw and the thought of resuming a marriage with her is just unthinkable.
In order to regain my trust and respect the stuff she would have to do is simply too far beyond her. She would never do it. I am reminded of signs I've seen in general stores here in Australia which read "Credit will only be given to persons over eighty years of age when accompanied by both parents".
That's how remote the odds are that my W could ever regain any kind of credibility in my eyes.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
You don't have to physically LIVE with her in the same apartment/ house for the unborn baby. Shock her and find your own place near by.
As I have said to you before , it is highly unlikely she will throw away this chance to have a baby, but by being in the same living space as her she still is able to string you along. She still has the power.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Staying with her is sending the message that you aren't done. She NEEDS to hear the message, loud and clear, that you are done unless she makes some serious changes.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I am ashamed of myself for tolerating such deranged behaviour and giving tacit approval by staying around.
During the last 18 months I have thrown my own personal standards aside, mainly through guilt about the hurt I had visited on my wife during our first few years. This coupled with extreme fear and hysteria throughout all of 2008 of being left again. I may have sounded in control on this board and around W but I most certainly wasn't on the inside. For months I would get a panic attack around lunchtime as I was sat at my desk. I was barely able to concentrate and friends told me I was a "shadow of my former self".
Not anymore. I have let go of what I can't control and have found my potency again at work.
Also, my wrongdoings as terrible as they were pail in comparison to the depravity my wife has shown she's capable of. When I first started posting here I genuinely felt that I was getting what I deserved. However, no living human being deserves this.
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
Credit will only be given to persons over eighty years of age when accompanied by both parents.
Is that by chance a bailed out Bank from the States with that sign out front? Just kidding! Well, maybe I'm not kidding!
Anyway, if you feel that your chances of reconciliation are actually representative of that, than maybe it is best you try to find your own place. Otherwise, it's just going to get more frustrating for you.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
