trying to be strong and patient 14

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Karen, there's NO WAY this is even CLOSE to what a court would decide if you were to contest the divorce. He's hoping you cave in to him, just like the OLD Karen would do!

I know a thing or two about family law in Florida, and it AIN'T friendly to the man. If he wants to fight you, then I suggest you let him see what the Leon County courts would do to him.

Puppy

[kat727]

Oh, I am sorry it was so crazy. He is trying to avoid paying child support by having them all week long. Have them in school all day so that there would be no need for anyone to watch them. How is he going to do all of their therapies? This man has lost his mind and it sounds like the mediator right along with him! Hang in there , don't back down.

kat

[whatdidido]

I had a feeling he was going to do this. It is ridiculous. Just make sure you have all of those saved emails, etc. because I have a feeling you will need them. He sounds like he would do anything to keep his cost down.....even if it is detrimental to the kids. I'm glad you have the "tough as nails" lawyer. I think you will need her.

Just remember that you know what is best for your kids, and you know what is right. Your H will know exactly how to push your buttons, and will try to do this to get his way. Be prepared in court because he will try to make you out to be someone you are not. Stand proud and confident, you have every right to.

We are all in your corner, Karen. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. ((((((Karen))))))))

[Sara]

I have to agree with the Pup. From what I've been told a marriage longer than 10 years in Florida is mandatory lifetime alimony. And that's just to start.

[karen43]

Thanks everyone! I'm glad to hear your advice & opinions. I felt horrible after yesterday. Apparently it was obvious to the mediator that his motivations are financial, but she felt well that's to be expected b/c we have the 2 households. I'm guessing some people (most Ls maybe) make decisions for their kids based on $$$, I'd like not to think most, and I don't think they can even begin to understand someone that doesn't consider $$$ but just what's good for the kids. Their dad has been a mostly absent parent just spending a few hours with them a week for the past 15 years, and to change that completely for $$$ reasons. Seems insanity to me. I guess I will try to have an easy day today. S15 and I are going to the therapist tomorrow am so that's probably good. I've been doing chocolate therapy, but that's prob. not the best.

BTW, I'm glad I wore the red dress yesterday. It's conservative, but looks good, and I wore it at the grocery store after, and it's funny how all the men were diving to open the doors for me or give me a shopping cart, etc. In my plain mom clothes, that doesn't happen so much!

Thanks for calling to check on me last night, Kat. I was so upset left the phone in the car again! D9 scolded me over that this am. Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Karen,

Lean on your own atty, and don't stop her from being the bulldog she is, and that she knows how to be.

You're going to need that. LET HER DO HER JOB, and don't feel guilty about it.

Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Puppy

[kat727]

Karen, It is obvious he is going to try to bully you into taking his terms. Knowing this, disconnect yourself and go for the juglar. This is the only thing this sorry excuse for a man understands. Let your Lawyer lose.

hugs, kat

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yep. Then when he tries to argue with you about it, you say "I've decided to follow the advice of my lawyer on this, as she's much more qualified in these sorts of things."

[karen43]

I'm going to try to leave it up to the L as much as possible. I know no matter what happens I'll be ok, but I do worry about the kids a little.

I feel more and more detached I think, but then D9 told me tonight about the beach trip they took this weekend in OW's daughter's car. She said she likes it better than OW's b/c it's cleaner. It still makes me feel so I guess I'm not as detached as I'd like to be...

I am trying to be as healthy as possible. Went to the grocery store again today (yesterday was mostly a chocolate run ) and I got fruits, vegetables, yogurt, water, etc. Plan to work out again tonight too. It's weird but when I'm depressed I feel like eating chocolate and staying in bed, but I think doing the opposite makes me actually feel better not worse. Karen

[karen43]

So I joined Twitter a month ago or so, I think Kat invited me, but haven't really had the time to do that. I haven't tweeted yet or whatever they call it. But I get an email today that this guy signed up to follow my twitters. I clicked on his link to fb and his friends happen to be good friends with H and they're in AA together. Why would he be looking for me or following me unless H asked him to I guess? Trying to get dirt on me or something? My thoughts are he'll just be bored to death, but I'm tempted to start tweeting with thoughts of my day: taking D9 to camp, hsing S15, and the activities we do together all the time...Boring and totally useless. But I'm thinking I'll prob. just let him follow my non-existent posts. I'm a little creeped out he's got his friends following me, but maybe I'm overreacting?