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Hello Sandi,

Thank you for your reply. I agree with most of what you wrote and I'll take it to heart. However, here are two points where I respectfully disagree:

(1) I definitely have taken alot of the blame for my situation. I've said this many times in my previous posts. If I were just a better husband I tell myself.. I would not have put my W and myself through this pain. I am terribly guilty over this...what have I done? However, if my wife was better to me as well...what could have been? I have learned that relationships are two-way streets, both in the construction and destruction phases. I too have taken alot of crap over the years, yet I'm not the one running away.

(2) In some of the relationship books I've read over the last few months, it's absolutely critical for the husband to put the wife #1 and vice versa. And especially when they have kids! The spouse becomes unappreciated otherwise. If the kids begin to dominate the relationship, communication b/w the husband and wife quickly breaks down. Like you said in one of your posts..."lack of communication is the beginning of the end". This is what happened in my situation. It is not selfish for the spouse to expect to be #1. In fact, that where they were during courtship. If I felt more appreciated in my relationship, maybe...just maybe, I would have reacted differently over the past few years. And I bet my W is thinking the same about me. It's a shame that so many relationships come this this point!

Sandi, again your comments are greatly appreciated. I am not upset with your opinion, I just wanted to clarify a few points. Yes, it is hard to keep from venting when the the emotions are so raw. It hurts me and I know my W has felt alot of pain as well. I've heard crying coming out of her bedroom on several occasions.

Thanks,
LFH