So had a pretty good weekend. Saturday was good. Woke up and hung out with W and D3 playing with legos until W had to go to work. Then D3 and I went to a party at a friend of mine's house. It was cool. Lots of kids for D3 to play with. Adults were having a few adult beverages and playing horseshoes and such...generally BSing off and BBQing. It was a great day. Got home and crashed out when I went to put D3 down. Sunday W had the day off and I cleaned out the garage some (been meaning to do that for awhile) and pressure washed the decks. Played with D3 and W some in between things and then had taco night....I love taco night. After that we put D3 down and W asked me if i wanted to hang out and watch a movie with her. I said that would be cool so we did. Pretty nice relaxing time. After the movie we were just hanging out on the deck for a few and W asks me why I'm willing to give her a second chance. I just told her you know my feelings for you and I think with some time and work we can have a great marriage. That in a lot of ways i still see her as my best friend and that's who i want to spend my life with. She said she really wants to try....she feels more strongly about that than she has since this started...and that she is scared that if we do try as we work through it I'll hate her. Or that 5 or 10 years down the road we end up back at this place again. I told her I didn't really see the hate her thing as happening. If it hasn't happened yet..... As for the 5 or 10 years down the road thing...I told her that thought had crossed my mind and that I understood what she was saying. I said that was a real fear but i wasn't going to let fear run my life. That I thought we could make it a lot better than before and neither one of us would ever need to stray. I then kinda flipped the coin a little on her and said yeah, 5 years down the road we could be in the same spot again or 40 years down the road we may look back on this as just a distant memory. Then she said that she thought i deserved better than her and some stuff like that and i just said that I didn't see it that way and it was really my decision who or what I deserved. I think that is such a crappy statement....you deserve better. bleh! So things have been pretty good between us for the last week or so. She has spent a lot of time with me since she said she thought she was making a mistake. She's came home every night. She hugs me all the time. she is real touchy feely around me and rubs against me when she passes by me all the time. No ILYs or intimacy but it feels like we are very slowly and cautiously feeling each other out. Which is good because I don't want to rush into anything. She is leaving on Thurs. to go back east to her family reunion with D3 and doesn't want to really discuss separating/reconciling until she gets back. She did say she is sad i'm not going back with her too over the weekend. But I think it will be good for her to get away without me there. It should give her some more time to think things through. For now though, things seem to be astronomically better than they were a month ago.
