Head to the library and pick up Codependent No More, the chapter on detachment is especially useful.

I had the same attitude about my M for the two weeks before I was able to force the bomb out of my H... Maybe if I just love him harder, do more for him, be there for him constantly - and then I cracked when I realized he was even more irritated with me than he was before...

I've been practicing detachment/GAL/180 for almost a month now, and I feel better for ME, and care less about what he thinks or does...

Me - 30, H - 32
T - 10, M - 6, D - 1
DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2
on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10)
Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011