Your wife's letter just knocked the wind out of my sails! I feel my situation is heading down the same path as yours. I will include you in my prayers.
-LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
Please don't assume those are the last thoughts she will have about this. You have put it on her plate and she is digesting it...
A&K, that's part of the paradox to me... I don't think they are the last words, but in the meanwhile the children will be thrown to the wolves... That su*ks... and they have to face the feelings we so desperately don't want them to have to face...
Please don't assume those are the last thoughts she will have about this. You have put it on her plate and she is digesting it...
A&K, that's part of the paradox to me... I don't think they are the last words, but in the meanwhile the children will be thrown to the wolves... That su*ks... and they have to face the feelings we so desperately don't want them to have to face...
I know. Believe me, I know. I'm sorry.
Alex, I am sorry she seems determined. Very rarely people just follow thru, I've only seen it once-twice here of all the stories I followed during my time on the boards. Maybe she means it, maybe she is up for a surprise herself. Either way, your choices should be the same. Stay strong. My kids have been thru this, I now it sucks. They are not 100% OK now but they are much better than I thought they would be. They will be watching to gain strength and direction from you. That is now your goal. Be the best dad you can be. xxx K
Her moral equivalency, and use of the passive voice, sickens me. I'm so sad for your kids, Alex.
Puppy
You know, I used to get angry reading stuff like this, now I just shake my head in wonderment... Wish it were completely detached wonderment, but wonderment nonetheless...
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
Your letter got through to your wife, stirring her emotions. What I see is a woman responding, explaining her reality and even some of her flaws. Perhaps you should write a short story of "The Little Kayak that Could".
You have no control over her actions but you shared what was right for you. Let it go, let her thoughts simmer as you move forward, being the best dad you are.
Here's a paraphrased story about divorce and a parent's love which I found only once and struggle to remember correctly.
His sons were upset over the divorce and afraid of losing the security of their parents love. The father aware of their concerns had the boys scour the yard for twigs. The dad bound the twigs securely with twine and showed it to the kids. He then took his strong hands and only with great effort slowly broke it apart. The children watched and wondered. "This is what happened with the love between your mother and me. We loved each other very much but it very slowly broke apart."
The father then had the boys gather branches. When they deposited all they found in front of him, the dad once again bound them tightly and held it up before his boys. He repeated the same motions as before, trying to rend the branches apart. No matter how hard he tried, it stayed secure. "This is the love I have for you. Nothing can change the love I feel."
In doing so, the father reassured his sons of the power and strength of unconditional love.
*hugs*
PS.. I have no clue what to do with my skill as a writer.
I just hit the tender age of 53, am thought to be ten years younger. It's true that with menopause the skin thins, the wrinkles multiply, the blossom's petals fall.
Dang.. I just don't want to think of it being 'over' for me, especially since I'm working on composting my emotional baggage which doesn't happen overnight.
Perhaps I'm an optimist believing that when something is right, it will happen... just like my belief that babies always come at the right time regardless of what others may say. What is within the person is the treasure.. or so it is for me.
What do I mean by over? Because that woman who I said looked "over the hill" at 50 is now with a new man and very happy at 60. I just mean that we are no longer "hot" in our 50's. We can still meet single men. But sitting on a barstool with the singles set, we are no longer the ones to draw the eyes of the handsomest men in the room. No longer do we just "look good". Now we "look good for our age". So, no, it's not time to reserve a room at the assisted living center. But nor is it the time to go it alone on the singles market if you have another choice.
I don't remember which comedian said it, but it is true. There are 3 stages to a woman's life -- baby, babe, and bubba. In my opinion, if a woman hasn't gotten there already, then somewhere between 50 and 55, she moves into the "bubba" stage. And Steady is right, some women are there long before 50.
