Ok, need to update your guys on my sitch. So remember I said that H said he was going to move out from OW this weekend and I sure as heck did not believe him. Well, didn't talk to him about it since he said he would. I was even joking with my mom that I would call him todya to find out how his move went. On Sat night he was calling me and I was out with my mom and didn't bother to answer his calls for a while. Then I called him back late the Sat night and he said how he has something for me and wanted me to pick it up. Well I sure wasn't going to go... I'm not that desperate. Then he told me that the Friday night he moved. I was completely shocked but still skeptical, thinking that he probably just moved some of his stuff to try to buy time to cake it since he knows there someone else I'm interested in. But he did in fact move it. Anyway, I told him I would talk to him after church on Sunday. Sunday I didn't bother to call him to get anything. He called me Sunday night and then I gave him the ok to bring whatever it was. He brought over perfume which he knows that I like and two cards with a letter. In the letter he apologized about all that he has done and he knows he's been wrong to me and he just wish I would reconsider working on us and that he wants his marriage and he doesn't want to divorce etc. It was actually really sweet though. He even mentioned that he's looking into going to his cousin's pastor for counseling. I was pretty much disinterested saying that I've heard all of this before. I been honest with him about my other interest and although this guy and I are just friends getting to know each other, H thinks its more. But he knows my strong interest.
Anyway, he then begged to just stay over the night and he would sleep in the basement and I agreed. I turned in and then he came upstairs shortly after and begged to just sleep next to me no hanky panky. And I agreed, why - I'm a total sucker. But I did not sleep well with him next to me at all to be honest. Then this morning one thing led to another and I truly feel awful about. I really want to escape this madness but human beings are def sexual creatures for sure. He wasn't happy though because he said he knows something was missing and that he knows it doesn't change anything and he doesn't have me. I agreed which is true.
Now this afternoon I got a anamyous text from someone saying that "your husband is playing game with u and my friend he is back and forth with u and my friend." I know that has to be from OW. My thought to her text is no crap. I already know that - tell me something new. But H and I did agree that he is not coming back home anytime soon. I don't want him back home soon. And this text is just proof that these people would make my life hell and I'm not ready for that. Anyway, at first I was going to call H because I had already sent him text that I hate how I feel after ML with him. But I decided that you know what... I will not tell H about this text. If I tell him, he will go to OW about it and I just don't want to give her the satisfaction. She must wonder did she get it, what's going on with her. So I decided to not even go to him. I don't want to bring these people madness in my life anymore. Enough darn. I'm trying to escape but keep getting sucked back in.
In hindsight, one positive note is that remember I had a mental deadline of June 30 for H to move. I never did communicate it to him at all and look he moved before the deadline. I can't help but to feel like this is a big baby step but at the same time I don't even know if I want my M anymore. Ahhhhhhhhhhh, it seems like the madness continues.....
