I don't mean to sound uncaring, but are you sure a divorce is something you want? There are meds for low testosterone. This is very long and difficult road you are about to travel and if for one minute you think that issues can be worked out through counseling, medications, etc. I would urge you to leave no stone unturned.
But to answer your question on how to build back your self-esteem and regain indpendence, I will leave that to the more seasoned people on this forum. I have a real problem with that one myself.
Have you met with an attorney yet? You need to get it right from the get go. It's difficult and very expensive to try and fix emotional mistakes later.
