I also know I have to give more to my wife even if I feel like I am currently giving my all. I feel that if she is not where she needs to be to make this marriage work, I am not doing what is needing to be done and I have more to give.
WRONG. You two sound incredibly co-dependent and enmeshed; have you done any reading on this subject?
Rather than DB and DR for right now, I'd suggest reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy," plus a good book on co-dependency (I hear "Co-Dependent No More" is a good one). You are off-the-charts focusing on HER, instead of on your own emotional health right now, and what makes Kane tick.
