I FINALLY feel like I am truly detaching. It has been a process but for the most part now I really don't care where he is/what he is doing and am able to leave the room to go be by myself when he is home without the urge to be in the same room as him, etc. Of course, there are times the worry/fear/panic start to surface but I am much more easily able to push the negatives aside and think about something else. He is slowly losing room in my head. At this point he still has room in my heart (or the "old" him, anyway) but I just am not particularly interested in this person who doesn't treat me the way I deserve.
I have also "dropped the rope." Of course I do still want my M to work out and that is what I am working toward but I know that whatever happens I WILL be okay.
It is nice having that sense of peace and yes even joy again.
