ackkkkk!!! ali that is so weird!!!!! I am so sorry... if that happened to me I would probably want to puke. I'm not sure what to suggest... I noticed that you mentioned passionate marriage to julia on her thread just now. It seems like BF probably has some differentiation issues to deal with, with his mom? As in, standing up to her and "screwing his dick on"? Obviously she doesn't make it easy for him though. Is he still in therapy? maybe you could suggest that you would feel better about dealing her if he was working things out in therapy? MAYBE WITH DAVID SCHNARCK, MY HERO?
I remember a while ago you talked about how you and BF in your last relationship sort of "parented" each other... in that he didn't really have good parents and you had to fill that role (or something like that--I'm sorry if I am getting this wrong). So maybe she feels replaced, like you are taking up the Mom / Number One Woman space? I apologize in advance if I am remembering wrong.
