Advice wanted-surviving insanity

[mvgolfer]

I am worn out after this weekend. I get sick and feel weak every time I think about this. I got a call from our neighbor/single friend up the street from us. He was having some folks over and then they were going to watch some fireworks, and invited both of us. The H was coming home from a golf tournament,so when he called I told him about it, and he seemed ok with me going with. Then I found out he totally flipped out and called our neighbor, and stopped by his house (which is why he was so late in coming home). Come to find out, all these times he has been hanging out with this group of single friends, there has been these one or two cetain women that are also always there. So when I was there (I walked over from our house in the rain), these two woemn were courdial, but I could certianly tell that I had chnaged the dynamics of this group. However my H acted like I wasn't there, flirting, fawning and basically ignoring me. They in turn were makign snide comments , talking to each other, but making sure I could over hear them, about driving a car acrosss the lawn/wet grass, etc ( I had posted earlier that I had did that when the H was out at yet another party with out me..I know toally stupid.) They were pretty catty and of course, the H said nothing. My H says there's nothing going on, but I still got these wierd vibes while I was there. I know I shouldn't read too much into anythign right now, but I feel like over these past several months, I have been paying for all of my sins with what my H has been putting me through. One of the women gave him her phone number so they could go for 'a walk'...I guess she 'counsels' the others in the group on stuff like this. She is also the pres. or something like that for the Lake County Parent w/out partners..or somethign like that. So is she going to encourage my H to file or move out? What kind of advice(no less neutral) could this person possibly share, when she behaves like an inconsiderate jerk? My H said he might call her becuase he wants to talk to somone. Why can't he talk to his parents, brothers, or a counselor?? We spent time together on Sunday, and it was great - but everything has been so up and down, that I dread the time when he gets wierd again, or goes out once more with those individuals. I have lost so much weight, that I have to wear slacks that have belt loops, just so I can keep them up! I talked to a DB coach(Leni?) this weekend, and she gave me some things to work on - such as a solution journal. At least I can work on these things to keep me busy up to a point. I just hope I can keep myself together through this. I feel like crap everyday. Thanks for reading/listening...marsh