Well, there is still on contact at all!! My H sent our daughter a card for elementary graduation, (June 6) but no phone number or address! Also didn't give her anything for graduation!!
She was upset again because she can't contact him. I know he is only living a few miles away and I do have the address but he doesn't know I know it!!
His Lawyer dropped him, I guess because he made a fool out of her by not following the conditions that he would go to counseling for our daughter, and must have told her he was attending!!!
Is there anyone out there that had a WAH or WAS that was suffering from depression or anyone that could help me out with my sitch????
I hardly get any responses and I don't know why! Do I just give up on the marriage??? Is this normal for him to just push not only me away but our D and his Step-son (that he raised for 13yrs.)?
I read this thread and I think you should go back and read the excellent responses you got, especially on page 2. They all have a common thread which is you can't control H, can't help him come out of the depression, can't make him contact the kids, etc.
All you can do is work on yourself and be a good parent to the kids during this difficult time. In my sitch, my H left the end of February and has never sat down with the kids (his stepkids) to talk abt how they are, why he left, what will happen. All reasonable conversation topics but while our H's are in their fogs and/or depressed, they can't do it.
So, you just have to be patient with H and in the meantime, take care of yourself. Get busy, move ahead with life w/out H and remember that you are both on your own journeys. Hopefully by doing the work you need to, and giving H the time/patience to follow his own journey, you two will end up on the same path again some day.
As far as responses, I found it helpful to journal regularly so the thread doesn't get lost on page 10 of 20, and as I said, you received some excellent feedback previously... go back and read those because they tell you everything you need to know, and all you can/should do right now.
I can't thank you all enough!!!! I really thought I should just give up!!!! Don't want to by any means, but it is so damn hard!! I love him soooo much and just don't get any of this!!!
K, I have a son from a previous M. My H has raised him for the past 13 1/2yrs. That's why you probably got confused.
See everyone here, my H didn't bother with him at all after he left! But I told my S it wasn't because he didn't love him it was because he was ill and was taking D because he felt he had to take her to visit when he was living with his parents due to her age and to prove that he was a good father. My S is 18, and he is soooo angry because of him doing this to me and wants nothing to do with him now!
My questions is.....how do you do Dbusting when there is NO contact from him??? I have been on that site One Day and read the books and boy did I mess up big time in the beginning!!!
I pleaded, begged, everything you're not suppose to do!!!
So when he called in May I decided to start not answering the phone. It was the beginning of May but after the hearing for visitation with our D I have not heard a word except our D getting the grad card in the mail with no address or phone number. Don't know when he changed his number but I tried to get a hold of him because he had our D's dress at his apartment or at his parents and the number was changed.
I do have an address but just pretending I don't have it. It was on the court papers that he had to sign when his lawyer dropped him.
Is this the space and time he needs??? He hates to be alone and he has been in his own place now for over 7 weeks!!! This is what I don't get!!!
He did the same thing 12yrs. ago, but lived with his sister and came begging back after 3 months!!!
I know I have to GAL, but it is really hard with working one full time job and a part time one!!!
Jon, I don't know how to do that. Can you help me post the main thread?
Also thought about spending the money to call a coach but I guess there is NO reason too since we have NO contact at all. What does everyone here think????? Please everyone, I'm begging you to be here for me and want to thank all of you for everything!!!!
Hey Lost! You're doing great. He'll come out of the fog eventually and start to miss you. What matters is what happens then, and making the most of the contact. Hang in there!
Is this the main thread you're using?
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Please everyone, I'm begging you to be here for me and want to thank all of you for everything!!!!
Lost, this is one place you won't ever have to beg. We're here.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Jon, I hope you are right about him coming out of the fog! Got really upset though because of a comment that someone wrote!!
They told me what he is doing what his parents wants him to do and he (H) probably thinks there is sooo much damage done that he won't ever try to come home or want to save the marriage! Being afraid of what my reaction will be so for me to just to give up on the marriage and that I probably won't ever hear from him again!
