What to do when Husband's Gone & Makes No Contact?

[beepee]

mishka422:

thanks so much for your kind words..we dont have any children together, married for 2.5 years, and hes not having an affair..not that i would know of tho if he was..but i dont think he is. i have stopped contacting him and i know its the best thing to do and im trying really hard at it.

Gardener:
thank you also for your kind works. ive read that section over and over again and im trying to think of ways to keep myself occupied..the problem is ive been diagnosed with a mood disorder and severe depression and my medication was just started 2 weeks ago and it takes about a month to work so i feel soo down in the dumps right now. its very hard for me to pick myself up when i feel so abandoned and suicidal everytime i think about him. im trying so hard...soo hard to get through this. i dont have family thats very supportive, when iw as crying about my H one night, my mom came into the room and yelled at me and said if its that bad, why dont you just kill yourself!! and i wanted to so bad..i felt like i had no one. so im trying to think of things that will help me and distract me. im in a very difficult situation because i dont work..i had a business with my H but now that hes gone, i cant do it anymore because he was the photographer for it, i dont know how to drive, i dont have any money to pay the rent for the studio we had and the landlord is very unsympathetic to my situation and i have to move everything out of there very soon. i dread it because i dont even have any energy to get out of bed, how can i move evertyhing out of this large studio?? and i have all these bills that need to be paid that my H left me with but i have no job and no money to be able to pay for it. i live in the suburbs with my parents and since i dont drive, i cant work..and because of my disorder, its hard to work right now..i simply just dont know what to do..i know its really important for me to focus on working on myself but its just so hard!!!! i dont eat, i hardly sleep. ive lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks (which is actually good because i gained 150 since ive been with my H and feel so ugly that i dont even want to go outside). im trying to hang in there, im trying to read as much as possible, im trying to distract myself but i find myself constantly cheking my email to see if hes contacted me. i know what i need to do, its a matter of being able to do it. i feel totally crippled because of everything.