Saturday night S cried, "I need hugs from Mommy now!" at bedtime.
Last night, after I put them to bed upon their return, D6 asked me to stay with the door closed. She hid under the blanket and told me she can't cry, she can't cry, she can't cry. Why?
Because it will be even more sadder if I do. My heart is in the dumps. It isn't even red or pink anymore, it's grey. Why can't you and Mommy ever stop arguing? Why can't you be married? That's how it's supposed to be for kids, don't you get that?
As DH pulls out of the driveway every night, S3 gets out of bed to watch him leave and then D17 and I fight for the next hour to get him back to bed.
When I asked D6 of she minded, she told me "No, mommy. S3 and I miss Daddy and we hug each other to go back to sleep."
These stories absolutely kill me...
It's hard enough to watch how my 20-month-old clings to Daddy like he'll disappear if she lets go. My heart broke yesterday. Usually she's a mommy's girl, but when Daddy is around she won't let go.
I wonder if he gets an ego boost out of it or if he gets it. Someday he'll get it.
He rushes her off to bed before he goes home, so that he doesn't have to see her watching from the window.
It doesn't have to be this hard.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
