Mojo. The life force. The essence.

[AlexEN]

I have another project in mind, though I don't have the technical wherewithal or the chops to do it.

A 7-minute video. Uploaded to all the "how to get a great divorce" and "what to do if you're thinking about divorce" and "easy divorce 1-2-3" and assorted other bullsh*t websites.

Children. Ages 3 to 17. (18s are adults). Simple lighting. Simple backdrop. Close shot, full face. Interviewer (off-screen): Is there something you want people to know about what's it like when your parents get divorced?

And let it ride.

It could be called, "Out of the mouths of babes." Distribute it through church groups, counseling centers, state family clinics, etc. etc., for free or for a small donation to some worthy charity of (our) (the producer's) choosing -- battered women's shelters, Al-Anon, whatever.

This is a great idea... Like showing drunk drivers what really happens...

When I read your post above, I thought: "If only the WAS really knew what the children thought..."

I don't know that subjecting kids to having to express their thoughts on camera wouldn't be too hard to watch, but having a parent tell the story as a VO with pictures of the kids in question might be nearly as powerful... The emotion in the parent's voice recounting the child's words would speak volumes.

To your list of causes, how 'bout the psychological professionals who will have to work with those very children over the course of time?

The best thing about something like this is that it could be part of a larger "preventative medicine" program... DAMs like me might never have gotten where we are had we had "we only known"...

Because once we've reached the stage many of us are at, it is, unfortunately, still the longest of long shots... But, if we had seen a tape like the one you describe, read Chapman, read Gottman, etc., we may have been able to avoid the mistakes we made (which is not the same as taking the blame, but acknowledging our role in getting to this Place).

Preventative medicine early on in one's marriage (on another thread I told how I now give a package of those books anonymously at weddings for just that reason) or at the FIRST signs of trouble might keep thousands from ever having to come here...

And even if the numbers are far less than that, if just a few children can be prevented from ever having to endure this type of suffering, it would be a worthwhile program.