Today I looked at my wedding ring and thought "I should take that off". Not for the reasons you think but because it suddenly seemed like a symbol of taking H for granted. When H came back he promised he would not leave again. Yet only a few nights ago he stormed out the house slamming the door behind him. this is something he has often done in the past, but when he left for real he said to me "couldn't you tell something was wrong I nearly walked out 5 or 6 times in the last year?"
I feel like we really shouldn't be taking each other for granted, that his promise not to leave again was genuinely meant but that in some ways it has had the wrong effect. When he was away I DB'd my ass off to get him back. Then we had the honeymoon effect for about a month and these last few months have seemed a little to much like the old normality. Not the uncomfortable normality that led up to his walking out but the old normality which must be what got us here in the first place.
I want to do something radical like taking the ring off to shake us up again, to wake us back up from the sleep we are in so we are positively DBing all the time, not just thinking it's OK now and slipping back to slouching around in our relationship.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
