I'm impressed.. you agree agree agree with me! Now why not embrace it?
This part sucks beyond words.. the pain it causes your children. You can't talk for their mommy, you shouldn't rescue her from her actions in their eyes. You can listen, you can be their rock. Sometimes it's time to silently sit beside them in their sorrow, other times distraction might work.. If your daughter can't cry, then have a bottle of bubbles and ask her if she can show you how she feels by blowing them.
Some kids (my daughter and yours truly) communicate better when occupied with something else... drawing, playing with baby ratties, blowing bubbles.
Stop rescuing mommy. Stop doing her thinking for her.
Work on you. The mask is unnecessary.. you're incredible without it. Get healthy... look in the mirror and be good to that guy looking back. You're worth it.
