New Post for Wifey

[The Wifey]

To continue my journal.......

When H came back inside he decided to send S a text. He asked him directly, "I got crap for father's day & no birthday greetings. Why are you so mad at me?"

S did respond. You should have asked that question a year ago. (For those that have been following me - S & H had a falling out last July. H felt son crossed the line and end result he told him to get the f*ck out.)

In retrospect he wish he hadn't uttered those words. S was trying to protect me, he felt. Didn't feel he needed to know our personal business. And Mr Perfect admitted he didn't always do things right (gasp!) and that he always tried to do what was in his best interest.

Some more exchanges between S & H. S ended up saying this is not a conversation for text. H agreed, but asked him to write back with paper or email. H would read and ask questions if he didn't understand something. Also told him he started with text so they could converse, yet not do it in person to avoid an argument.

After all this H says he doesn't think S understands that he is doing everything to give him an opportunity - to graduate from college with no debt. (H gets a full tuition waiver because of H working at the college. H pays S's rent, utilities, books.) Says he lives at parents instead of paying rent so he can pay S's.

I asked him what he would do if S asked why H has to live with parents when he has a perfectly good house right here. Why don't you just go home to Mom?

H said I would say your parents are separated. So I asked if his S wanted to know what was happening or going to happen? H said he wouldn't know what to say because he doesn't know himself. I said fair enough.

Man this hit me hard. Granted this is my crazy week. The week before my monthly. I am generally a basket case and so far the meds are just scratching the surface.

H said are you ok? I told him no, not really. We have had a beautiful weekend but I know you are going to be leaving pretty soon. He can't tell S anything and he can't tell me anything.

H took books home and said he'd read them 2 weeks ago but hasn't opened them. H said he wasn't sure he was going to.

I pretty much mushed at this point. So we just continue like this? H said he hears he isn't doing enough. H doesn't have a clue what to do or say to me right now. The man is so lost.

Time to re-set, and get out of the fog.