Hello, no i am not new around here unfortunately but i haven't posted since 2001!
DB community, I need your help and your shoulders again. You can see my original classic near WAW story if you go back to February 2001. Yes, this forum has been around for along time it seems.
8 years since the bomb. I got DB, read the forums, did the right things so i thought, and my marriage improved a bit and avoided the WAW situation. I had truly thought things had improved. Its been off and on since and i admit she has not had overt affection for me at all and has not said i love you to me in a meaningful way, or hardly at all actually, in some time. As a family unit we are now in a comfortable situation financially and are starting to really enjoy life. I sacrifice for my family and go above and beyond to make my wifes life easy. She has freedom to do what she wants. Life has been on cruise control.
Now to the present. I've noticed my wife withdrawing and becoming depressed alot in last several months. She's gone through these episodes over the years but swings back and forth sometimes over weeks or months. I've always chalked it up to some sort of ongoing depression thing although no doctor has been able to define this clinically. I really don't know what to think.
My W called me upstairs late last week for the talk. It was a good talk and we laid it all on the table. She says she has no feelings for me, hasn't had any for years (cop out?), and really has had no feelings about anything for many months. She is depressed but can't pin point anything. We talked about working it out and not hurting the kids. She said she needed space. I said i was giving her space and she was free to do what she needed. She said there was no one else in the picture and i believe her. I said the years have been frustrating for me as well. We talked about alot of things that we never talk about and it helped. She is not a talker and doesn't share her emotions usually.
So, to be honest, if it weren't for the kids i would have ended this loveless marriage long ago. I have not strayed. Would she stray? I would not tolerate it. I am confident (or detached) that losing my wife as a companion is not the end of the world for me. I do however see how this would affect the kids and i want to avoid that. I am frustrated and in pain over what i see is the inevitable. Some days i welcome it. Its been 8 long years. I am 40, she is almost there, but we have much years ahead and i want to enjoy something.
What do i do? Do i press again to 'improve myself' and spark a tidbit of interest in her again to hang on some more? I am tired but i'm afraid for the kids (now 12 and 14). I'm not sure what she wants. I don't care anymore. I get angry thinking about it. I don't deserve this. At what point do you throw in the towel?
